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|  | | Confessions of a Slut
Selma Brazinsky is an average-looking, thirty-four-year-old, single, full-figured woman who has never had an earth-shattering orgasm with any man.
Almost as frustrating are her Mama's attempts to fix her up with one loser after another. So Selma joins the Love Connection, an Internet dating service, tagging herself, "Experience Wanted Sally."
She meets men all right. There's "Barrel of Laughs Mike," who needs sniffs of oxygen at the most inconvenient times, "Harvey the Ballroom Dancer," whose feet are numb due to diabetes, and long-bearded "Big Bubba" who reminds her of the Duck Dynasty guys. Then along comes Jessie, the lovable porn-shop owner whose kinky toys, costumes, and sexual finesse overwhelm her. Is he the one? Can Selm | |  | | Do I Flaunt My Fat, Or Jump Off A Bridge?
This is an old-fashioned love story of a large-sized Jewish woman and a huge-sized Italian guy. Mix this with a mystery and four nagging old women who wind up in a jail cell with a bunch of colorful prostitutes, and you have one hilarious story.
Poor Sabina Sunday! She's 30 years old, 100 pounds overweight, an unwilling virgin, and an accountant in a modeling agency full of lovely, skinny women. To make matters worse, she lives with her nagging Jewish mother, who never lets her forget that she isn't married and is wrong about everything.
But things look up one day when Sabina overhears her boss refer to her as "that fat sausage." That's when she joins Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, and Overeaters, determined to shed the pounds and change her life. At her very first Weight Watchers meeting, she meets Thomas, a neurotic Italian shrin | |  | | Fireflies
Fireflies is a riveting novel, filled with lust, murder and black humor. It deals with issues of anger, betrayal and unrequited love, abandonment and abuse, even sexual compulsions. Over a wilderness campfire, three women tell the truth about their marriages. None had divorced their husbands and none of their husbands died of natural causes. What drove three seemingly normal women to commit such horrific crimes and solidify their friendships in the process?
It’s in the middle of a snowy winter, so why is dense, greasy smoke billowing up from a remote wooded area that’s only frequented by summer vacationers? When the local fire company investigates, lifelong friends, Mary, Emily and Carla scramble to explain what one of the firemen calls “that delicious smell.”
The truth is that it’s Charlie, Mary’s husband, who smells so good. He’s roasting in
the roaring fire, but that’s not all. Emily’s and Carla’s husbands have already met the same fate.
But why? In Fireflies, sitting around the blazing bonfire, the three women finall | |  | | Fireflies 2 Vat 9
Horror and humor meet in Fireflies Two - Vat 9 by A. R. Alan. Here, you'll root for three women who have murdered their husbands and pledged to spend their lives helping other abuse victims. They rush to the aid of a woman who has stabbed her monster of a husband to death. How to get rid of the body? Of course, by turning it into a product so attractive that even the First Lady sings its praises.
Buckle your seat belt. You’re in for a wild ride in Fireflies Two-Vat 9. In this sequel to Fireflies, A.R. Alan continues the saga of Mary, Carla and Emily, who’ve killed their abusive husbands and roasted the bodies in a merry bonfire.
They don’t have to wait long to make good on their pledge to help women and children escape abuse. Mary meets a battered little boy, who desperately needs help and enrolls her friends in a plan of action. They march to the boy’s home to demand that the parents stop the abuse. They’re too late. Afraid of her husband’s violent bullying, the mother has s | |  | | I See Things
I See Things is a fast-paced thriller with lots of twists and turns that will keep you guessing until the very last page.
Homicide Detectives Catherine Delaney and Cody O'Dell get a call from a woman who says she's had a vision of a dark-haired teenager being abducted outside a Target store, and the girl is now a prisoner in a snake-filled room. Convinced the woman is a kook, the detectives write her off. That is, until Hillary Blackstone is reported missing the following morning.
Unfortunately, beautiful Hillary Blackstone is only the first girl to be abducted by this twisted, sexual deviant. When this madman is finished playing sick games with his victims, he injects them with snake venom and then toss | |  | | If You Really Loved Me, You Would Take Out The Garbage
If You Really Loved Me, You'd Take Out The Garbage is about a klutzy wife who decides to get even with her cheating husband. Hilarious to the last page.
Lillian, a gorgeous 35-year-old redhead, suburban housewife, and renowned klutz, is the last to know that her marriage is over. Her husband, Fred, is a skirt-chasing tyrant and Lillian--who is bored to tears tending her home and family--gets herself a job at the small law firm of Galluchi, Galluchi, and Schwartz.
This decision starts Lillian off on the road from one madcap adventure to another.
Like the time she joins a client to discuss business over dinner, only to be plied with a meal that's drenched in wine and liquor, then lured up to his hotel room. On another evening, | |  | | Kisses to Die For
When Angel buys a Victoria estate, her life is turned upside down. The house turns out to be haunted, the Chocolate Kiss serial killer is after her, and a gorgeous cop who doesn’t believe in marriage makes her heart race and her blood sizzle.
Kisses To Die For is an irresistible romp of sexy romance, zany characters, and chilling danger. You won’t put the book down until the very last page. When Angelica (Angel) Collins buys a picture-perfect Victorian country house with every cent of her inheritance, she plans to turn the adjoining carriage house into a quaint café. But the beautiful, naïve young woman soon learns that everything isn’t as idyllic as she expected. The peaceful little town on the banks of the Hudson River has a serial killer on the loose, her house desperately needs expensive repairs, and it’s haunted by a rose-scen | |  | | Love Pies for Sale
Romance, mystery and humor meet in Love Pies For Sale, the irresistible story of young and beautiful heiress Lucy Love Cromwell
A budding artist, she craves a simpler life, far away from Manhattan's madding crowds and unrelenting paparazzi. So she buys an old farm with a 20-acre apple orchard and moves in, easel and paints in tow, looking forward to a peaceful life. Instead, utter chaos ensues.
First, she attempts to turn her bounty of apples into pies, a less-than-successful venture, since she has never even boiled an egg. Then the three rambunctious puppies she's adopted unearth a gravestone etched with the initials JH, sending rumors flying that Jimmy Hoffa is buried behind her barn. In short order, her tru | |  | | Manhattan Madness
Matilda Anastasia (Mat) Carvel is a struggling artist who shares a roach-infested Manhattan apartment with two wacky sisters, a couple of gay cross-dressers, a rich bag lady, and two-meatball mooching mutts. Seems like everyone is having sex except poor Mat.
Matilda "Mat" Anastasia Carvel is a very talented and ambitious portrait painter, but she's also young and naive. After ditching her dysfunctional Arkansas family and helping herself to a new wardrobe from a Salvation Army dumpster, she runs away to New York City.
Mat soon finds herself engulfed in the chaotic pace of Manhattan. Between sharing a roach-infested basement apartment with two ditzy sisters, a rich bag lady, and a cross-dressing gay couple, she winds up supporting the slackers by painting portraits of customers at Tony's Pizzeria, pampered poodles, and homeless vagabonds.
M | |  | | The C.B. (Chocolate Brown) Social Club
Three young, beautiful, but desperate women convert a mansion into a Bordello/Spa where the men service the women and try to make all their fantasies come true.
Leonie thought she’d murdered her famous, wealthy husband. “I killed him,” she wails to her friend Ann. “I let him eat chocolate ice cream, even though the doctor said it’d kill him. Then, when his face dropped in the bowl, I just left him there, and he drowned.” Leonie didn’t kill him, of course, but after the wake— with its memorable and delicious chocolate brown theme— she learns that he’d gambled away all their money. Now she wishes she had, indeed, done the dirty deed. A former waitress in a truck stop, she isn't equipped to earn enough to keep up the mansion she shared with her husband, | |  | | The Flight of Snookems
Once again Merrie is involved in a murder. This time she and her zany friends are kidnapped by the Spanish and Italian mobs. Will they escape? And which man will Merrie finally chose? The sexy cop, or the millionaire blind attorney?
In A.R. Alan’s The Flight of Snookems, sizzling romance, rollicking humor, and a chilling mystery unfold at breakneck speed. Red haired, green-eyed, Meredith Dixon is gorgeous and men flock to her like ants to a picnic basket. Unfortunately, so do troubles. Very big troubles, like murder.
Since her move to Sutton Place where she shares an apartment with Lulu, a diminutive black ex-hooker, she’s followed by mysteries and mayhem. First she’s suspected of doing away with Bubbles, a notorious nymphomaniac, and no sooner is she found innocent of that crime, than she’s smack into another my | |  | | The House of Cupcakes
Three beautiful women decide to invigorate their older husbands by feeding them home-baked cupcakes laced with sex enhancing drugs.
Lila, Sheila and Greta are middle aged housewives married to sex-challenged older men. Their solution is ingenious and wicked. The delicious home baked chocolate cupcakes they feed their husbands are laced with sex-enhancing drugs. The women are deliriously happy until the pills run out, and Jerry’s doctor refuses to renew the prescription. “I need passion, excitement, adventure,” Sheila tells her friends. “We have to do something, or the three of us are going to shrivel up and die.” So the feisty women plan a daring heist at a local supermarket pharmacy to stock up on more of that “sweet elix | |  | | The Index Killer
The Index Killer moves at breakneck speed, with thrilling intrigue and romantic tension that'll keep you fascinated and guessing.
The victims of a brutal, tortured serial killer are piling up in the affluent town of Boca Raton, Florida. Residents are terrified. Police are mystified. Why is this deranged person singling out petite, young blondes? Why are their index fingers cut off as trophies after they've been raped and strangled?
Leading the investigation is Homicide Detective Catherine Delaney and her sexy partner Cody O'Dell. Raped as a teenager, Catherine is desperate to catch this killer before another young woman is murdered. Adding to her frustration is Cody's chauvinist attitude towards women in law enf | |  | | The Mad House on Sutton Place
Has Merrie’s soon to be ex-husband hired a hit man to kill her? Only her nutty friends: Lulu, the black ex-hooker, and the two gay midgets can help her stay alive. This is a laugh out loud book.
The Mad House on Sutton Place is a screwball comedy mixed with mystery and lots of romance.
When Merrie Dixon flees from her abusive husband after filing for divorce, she heads to Manhattan where her brother has rented a room for her in a swanky Sutton Place apartment. Unfortunately, the building isn’t upscale and her roommate turns out to be 4’ 10” eccentric, black ex-hooker named Lulu, who’s decorating business is in the toilet because she only decorates in black.
A few days after settling into her all-black bedroom, Merrie discovers a body stuffed in the basement’s cloth | |  | | The Past Rushes Forward
Hold on tight. In The Past Rushes Forward, Homicide Detective Catherine Delaney's life spirals into a deadly game after overhearing the words "Pussy Cat" behind her in a supermarket.
Hold on tight. In The Past Rushes Forward, Homicide Detective Catherine Delaney's life spirals into a deadly game after overhearing the words "Pussy Cat" behind her in a supermarket. That raspy voice--and those two exact words--have filled her nightmares for twenty years. He's the man who climbed through her bedroom window on the night of her twelfth birthday to brutally rape her, whispering Pussy Cat over and over again.
A young, terrified-looking girl standing beside the man says he's her father when questioned. But Catherine doesn't believe the child, so she follows them outside an |
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