Twelve Illusions of Reality That Impede Self-actualization by Bill Cottringer

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. ~Albert Einstein. 

     There are several illusions that are very difficult to see through, because they are so compelling and so fiercely interrelated, that it is hard to know when one stops and the other starts, or which is affecting which. Below is a brief discussion of these compelling and interrelated illusions that can all work together to impede our innate drive to become self-actualized, as our best self:

1. Time

     The measurement of time was probably invented by the early monks, who wanted to pray by some sort of a regular schedule with resting space in between prayers. In reality, the mechanical sequence of time flowing continuously and consistently from the future to the present and then to the past is the most compelling illusion in life. It is difficult to dismiss something we see, sense and feel all the time, awake or dreaming. Time isn’t an existing entity that can actually be measured scientifically, but rather only by the time measuring instruments say it is. In reality all there is, is the eternal now moment continually expanding without any beginning or ending to it. To be in a hurry is not taking advantage of this important reality.

2. Self

    In nature’s hierarchy human beings are the only thing having existence, life, consciousness and self-consciousness. This is the sense of unique identity we have in living our lives. The truth be known, the “self” is merely a mental construct using many of these other illusions like separation, permanence, control and certainty to hold it together. All we really have here is our consciousness in which we experience life in the now moment. All the rest of the past memories and future expectations of our imaginary self as we think we are, are just thoughts that distract our awareness of the important now moment. Our consciousness changes constantly.

3. Separation

     Seeing our reflection in a pool of water and later in mirrors, is likely what started this separation illusion as our self-consciousness or sense of having a separate existence from everything else. Of course, the reality here is that everything is inter-connected in one way or the other and the unity of oneness is what rules. Today things get accomplished best with teamwork, following the Gestalt Principle that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. In other words, a team can accomplish much more than any of its individual team members can alone. An important insight here is that this illusion of separation is what sets up the three artificial conflicts that always get in our way—us vs. life, us vs. them, and us vs. ourselves.

4. Permanence

    The illusion of permanence is something that permeates many other beliefs and is certainly tied to a few of these other illusions such as time, certainty, control, boundaries and as always, dualism. Having a false sense of permanence is bad enough in itself but making permanence better and more valuable than impermanence is an added unnecessary layer as useless but common as being depressed about being depressed or unhappy about being unhappy. Adding the quality of such interpretations of the source of the illusion is what stalls personal growth. And even this conclusion should be perceived as provisional and temporary, until a better insight comes our way, much like cooperation not being the perfect anecdote to competition.   

5. Certainty

    Heisenberg’s famous physics principle of uncertainty is the precise way life operates—without any certainty and only zero-sum probability. This is part of the reason that decisions are so difficult to make. The other part of this decision-making difficulty is the illusion of rationality, when it is emotions that make decision choices. Naturally, some of these other illusions like control, dualism, objectivity, fairness and self can muddy the waters further, confusing us even more, especially when we don’t get certain results we expect. Being certain your beliefs, values, truths or perspectives are superior, is a huge obstacle to successful interpersonal relationships.

6. Control

     The illusion of control is protected by the other illusions of self, certainty, permanence, fairness and scarcity. In reality, very little is under our control, sometimes even the one important thing we should be able to control—our reactions to the situations which life puts us in. Nothing is completely controllable, because things are uncertain and impermanent. The worst damage occurs when we combine the illusions of self and control and feel bad because of our failures at self-control. The irony here is that we are trying to control something with our current self-consciousness that has probably changed significantly from the self that created the problem or situation we now want to control. This is like the eyes trying to see themselves or the mouth biting itself.  

7. Dualism

    Our dualistic minds, which divide the entire world into “this and that” opposites, is the culprit birthing our self-consciousness from the original separation illusion. Getting out of our dualistic minds is just not something we can do because nothing we can do is without its opposite as in doing or not doing. Seeing though the veil of this illusion is something that just has to happen on its own. Viewing all the Yang and Yin opposites we have created, as just being necessary to know which is which, helps us to see though this illusion and speed up the process of growth and self-actualization. So does seeing opposites as being merely two different sides to the same coin.

8. Boundaries

     Some boundaries are necessary for practical reasons alone, but the general concept can inhibit growth when taken too far. True growth has no boundaries. The more we believe we can do something, the more we will do it. We are only limited by the boundaries we imagine existing. Why we would imagine any boundaries is a question worth asking. Probably the biggest boundary we can impose upon ourselves is when we over-identify with a particular viewpoint from which we are seeing something. The boundaries of something are most often determined from the location in time and space where they are seen. Sometimes boundaries change dramatically with a slight change in the location from where we are doing the looking.

9. Rationality

     Much like the fairness illusion below, rationality is a human invention of an ideal standard. When we think our beliefs, decisions, perspectives, values and behaviors are rational, we are not seeing the real reality that these things are primarily driven by feelings from the emotional side of the limbic brain. And often, it is the strength of feeling that what we are thinking or doing is right, good, true or any other positive valence we assign. Now when you come to think about it, pairing irrationality with mental illness, is as absurd as the concept of irrationality. Don’t get me wrong, rational thoughts serve a useful purpose in arousing the feelings that are necessary to prompt action.  

10. Objectivity

     Again, like rationality and fairness, objectivity is a mental construct that has no real object representation in reality. In that sense, it is just a word that has no real tangible meaning. Everything in our conscious mind is subjective, and being so, it really can’t be validated objectively. The question is, why do we have arguments about some things that come from an unarguable, unverifiable source? Seeing past this illusion could do much for world peace. And more importantly, it is the content of our subjectivity that partially defines who we are, which may be valuable in dialing down uncertainties when that may count most.

11. Fairness

     Fairness is a prevalent, important human ideal that simply doesn’t exist anywhere else in reality other than in our thinking minds. But there probably isn’t any other standard that causes more inter and intra-personal conflict. Bad things do happen to good people and there is no rational or other explanation to soften that reality. When situations are perceived as unfair, responsive behavior usually becomes unrestrained, dependent upon the degree of unfairness that is righteously perceived. The perception of unfairness can start angry arguments or even deadly wars. The sense of unfairness is greatly aggravated by many of these other illusions magnifying the adverse feeling.

12. Scarcity

     When it comes to things like money, power, happiness or success, we are foolish victims of a fear that there is a scarcity of these things we want to have, including the time involved in getting them, or the abundance of circumstances beyond our control. That is the driver of the nagging problem of why enough never seems to be quite enough. In reality though, the only thing that is scarce is our lack of belief in the abundance of everything we could ever want or need being available for the right purpose, and our efforts to do what we need to do to get these things. But our excuses as to why this isn’t happening are hardly scarce.

     So why do we have these illusions which restrict our growth and development? For sure we really do like the uncertainty of surprises, and at the end of the day illusions are part of reality, being two different sides to the same coin. Afterall, you can’t have a bright full moon to enjoy without a dark night. 

It is not reality that needs repairing but rather our incorrect and incomplete versions of it. ~W. Cottringer, Reality Repair Rx