Holding Your Past Hostage

"Change is...to give up what we are...to become what we could be."

Is someone holding your past hostage?

You know, holding it over your head?

Is that someone, you?

Can you let it go?

My answer is YES! I am guilty on all counts. For as long as I can remember, I have let others dictate my future because they held my past over my head. Nothing criminal but, things like growing up poor, how I dressed, the color of my skin, or the bad choices in life. Let's not get into the tumultuous relationship choices.

They say you learn from your mistakes. It's true. I have learned some hard, bitter lessons. Some of the lessons came from the people close to me. You know, those so-called friends who grin in your face but has a dagger in hand.

What really takes the cake is that I was my own worst enemy. I held my past hostage. Every thought swirling in my head was a reminder of my failure. Every time I uttered something about that person, some issue or circumstance, I gave them or it power. I was living in limbo. Indecision and procrastination were my bed partners. I could not let go. I even played the blame game.

How did I learn to let go? It wasn't easy. I still have difficulty but, I am learning. I prayed a lot. I hate losing friends. Well, maybe they wasn't my friend in the first place.

I learned to let go by accepting my past and my choices. I learned not to be ashamed of being poor, overweight, or making wrong choices in life. I learned that I do have a choice. I have the power to change my life for the better. Poverty is a state of mind. I can lose the weight and eat healthy. I can choose who I let into my life. But more important, I learned to love myself unconditionally. I'm all I got!

The good and the bad is a part of me. I'll sift out the bad and learn from it. I'll keep and cherish the good. I will no longer allow my past to be held hostage by no one, even if that someone is myself. Giving up on life and myself was and is never an option.