When I was very young, they were going to put me down because I was not too friendly, or at least thats what they told me...but the Ocean City Humane Society took me in and they are a no kill shelter & I waited a whole year for daddy & mommy to come find me & then the humane society paid half to have me "fixed"...I STILL to this day don't understand what of me was broken to have it fixed...;-) Rufuz
MR. ED - thank you for such clear and informative 'poop' about pets.
As I was reading, I could not help but think about the J.D. DILEMMA - then, as I scrolled down to the bottom, sure enough there he was - stating that '...they were going to put me down...'
But, to my dismay, I then realized it was really a post by his Alter-Ego RUFUZ! BUMMER!
Anyway, I would like to nominate YOU - PEE-WEE - to be the President of the Chicago Chapter of The LET'S SPAY MATLACK Society!
This action would be in the interest of all concerned - let me Count the Ways:
1. Apparently, NEUTERING him did NOT work - even tho' your MA & Pa paid good money to a transient part-time vetinarian, who was a part-time Medic in Nam and therefore a Double VET! Accordingly, J.D. was recently proposing to SELL HIS BODY ON THE STREETS OF DOWNTOWN SEA ISLE CITY - many citizens found that thought to be quite REPULSIVE!
2. ERGO, it would seem that the only HUMANE alternative would be to have him SPAYED - this necessary procedure might serve a dual purpose - the Elimination of his short-term "MONTHLIES" - which result in his BITCHING & MOANING - as well as the possible avoidance of his long-term PMS! Trust me, this should be avoided at ALL COSTS!
3. To That End - and as President, you should establish a FIX MATLACK FUND - set up a PAYPAL ACCOUNT - and within MINUTES, Millions of readers, all across the World can each Donate ONE PARTIALLY COPPER PENNY EACH - let's see now - 1,000,000 X 1c = $10,000 !
WOW - in the blink of an eye - ONE FELL SWOOP - or is it SWELL FOOP? -
TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS - HELL, we could then do a complete MAKE-OVER -
Haircut - Manicure - New Wardrobe - Food for his Pantry - Gas in the old RV - New Tires - a NEW PROPANE HEATER - and he could then drive out to your polished POLISH MANSION in the WOODS - and you two BROS could live HAPPILY EVER AFTER !
In the immortal words of George Peppard, of THE A TEAM -
"I LOVE IT WHEN A PLAN COMES TOGETHER!"
HAPPY: - SPAY-DAY - POONCH-KEY DAY - FAT TUESDAY - MARDI GRAS - ALMOST ASH WEDNESDAY -
47 DAYS TIL THE EASTER BUNNY LAYS EGGS!
OOPS!
TWO GUYS IN WHITE COATS ARE BANGING ON MY DOOR -
GOTTA RUN NOW & HIDE UNDER THE BED ...
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