On February 6th 2014 I posted a poem entitled "Sometimes...I Wish". In it I revealed my desire, at times, to be a fly.
In response to a comment I received, which stated I should want to be invisible - rather than a fly, I felt I should explain my reason for wanting to be an fly.
THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I WISH I WERE A FLY.
SOME MIGHT ASK, WHY A FLY?!? WHY WISH TO BE SO SMALL AND INSIGNIFICANT?! WHY NOT WISH TO BE INVISIBLE? WELL, FIRST OF ALL, NO ONE IS INVISIBLE ON THIS SIDE OF HEAVEN AND I DON’T WANT TO BE IN THAT STATE UNTIL GOD SAYS SO. AND, SECONDLY, LIKE IN JOB(JOB 25:6), I CHOOSE TO LIKEN MYSELF AFTER ONE 'WITHOUT' THE HUMAN ABILITY TO REASON OR THINK. WHY? BECAUSE, I HAVE FOUND, IT’S THOSE VERY ABILITIES, WHICH OFTEN 'GET IN THE WAY' OF OUR DEPENDENCE UPON GOD.
WHY DO I SAY THIS? BECAUSE, YOU SEE, WE DON'T NEED INTELLIGENCE TO PRAISE OUR GOD. ALL LIVING THINGS CAN PRAISE GOD(IS 55:12, PS 98;8, PS 150;6). FOR GOD GAVE THE ABILITY FOR EVERY LIVING THING TO 'COMMUNICATE' WITH HIM IN THEIR OWN WAY(REV 5:13). AND, I DEAR SAY, IN SPITE OF OUR INTELLECT, NATURE DOES THIS MORE OFTEN THAN A LOT OF HUMANS DO. AFTER ALL, STARS, MOON, WATERS, WILD BEASTS ALL PRAISE HIM, WHY EVEN THE 'TREES' CLAP THEIR HANDS IN ADORATION OF THE ALMIGHTY! THUS, I FANTASIZE ABOUT A MOMENT WHEN I, COVERED WITH TOTAL INSIGNIFICANCE, CAN DO NOTHING BUT PRAISE AND OBSERVE MY GOD.
I TRY TO BE A VERY CANDID CHRISTIAN WOMAN, WHO DOESN’T PULL ANY PUNCHES. I AM NOT ASHAMED. I DON'T PRETEND I'M UP WHEN I'M DOWN. I AM HONEST AND I TELL IT LIKE IT IS AND THERE IS NO HESITANCY IN ME AS I SHARE WITH YOU THE FACT, THERE ARE TIMES IN MY LIFE WHEN I’M DOWN.
AS A CHRISTIAN, I, LIKE ALL CHRISTIANS, AM OFTEN ATTACKED BY THE ENEMY OF THE CROSS. WHEN THIS OCCURS, I GO THROUGH A VERY ROUGH ‘WAR’, EMOTIONALLY AND SPIRITUALLY. THE PRINCE OF THE AIR COMES AGAINST ME HARD AND THE 'FIGHT' IS FIERCE…I BLEED AND AM RAW. I COULD EASILY FORGET THAT THE BATTLE IS NOT MINE…BUT GOD'S! MY INTELLECT, SOMETIMES, HAMPERS ME FROM BEING TOTALLY DEPENDENT UPON GOD AND, I DON'T MIND SAYING, IT SOMETIMES, OBSCURES THE PATHWAY OF HIS PERFECT WILL FOR ME. IT IS AT THESE TIMES, WHILE GOING THROUGH, I SOMETIMES WISH I WERE A FLY! NOT INVISIBLE, BECAUSE INVISABILITY WOULDN’T TAKE ANYTHING AWAY FROM ME BUT THE ABILITY FOR ME TO BE SEEN BY OTHERS. HOWEVER, I'D STILL BE ABLE TO THINK AND HAVE MY OWN WAY AND LET WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY AND DO BOTHER ME. BUT IN A SMALLER, MORE INSIGNIFICANT FORM I COULD DO 'NOTHING' BUT BE STILL, WATCH, WAIT AND CONSTANTLY GIVE JESUS ALL THE PRAISE AND WORSHIP HE SO RICHLY DESERVES!
NOW, PLEASE DON'T MISUNDERSTAND. I DO WANT GOD'S WILL TO BE DONE IN MY LIFE. FOR WE ARE SAVED TO SAVE OTHERS AND I KNOW I CANNOT ENCOURAGE ANYONE IF I HAVEN'T BEEN THROUGH ANYTHING. INDEED, IT IS BECAUSE OF THIS REALIZATION I KNOW I MUST TELL THE GOOD AND THE BAD. I OFTEN WRITE ABOUT BEING ON THE MOUNTAIN TOP. BUT PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW HOW IT IS IN THE VALLEY, AS WELL. FOR, IT IS NOT EASY, AT ALL, EXPERIENCING LIFE, ESPECIALLY THE CHRISTIAN LIFE. WE ARE NOT ALWAYS LEADERS, SOMETIMES WE'RE STRUGGLERS. SOMETIMES WE COME TO A POINT WHERE THE TIDES SWELL OVER OUR HEADS. BUT THOUGH WE MAY DROP BEHIND A LITTLE, WE CONTINUE TO FOLLOW HIM, CLINGING TO HIS STRENGTH NEVER LOSING OUR ‘FAITH’ IN OUR REDEEMER WHO IS EVER PRESENT, EVER LOVES US AND IS ALWAYS IN CHARGE! STILL, IN SPITE OF KNOWING ALL OF THIS, I FIND THAT ‘I’ CAN BE MY BIGGEST PROBLEM. FOR WHEN I NEGLECT TO ‘LET GO AND LET GOD’ THIS QUOTE BY BIBLE SCHOLAR D.L. MOODY, FITS ME PERFECTLY; “I HAVE NEVER MET A PERSON WHO HAS GIVEN ME SO MUCH TROUBLE AS MYSELF”. INDEED, IT HAPPENS… SOMETIMES I WISH I WERE A FLY!
TO PAINT A ‘FLOWERY’ PICTURE OF OUR CHRISTIAN WALK WOULD BE WRONG. BUT I REMEMBER, GOD DID NOT LIE TO US, HE NEVER PROMISED US A 'ROSE GARDEN'(JOHN 16:33), BUT HE DID PROMISE THAT ‘HE’ WOULD OVERCOME ALL. NOT US…HIM! HOWEVER, WHEN THE PRESSURES OF TRIALS ASSAIL WE CAN FORGET THIS PROMISE. AND, IF WE ARE NOT CAREFUL, OUR EGOS AND INTELLECT WILL RISE UP AND CONVINCE US THAT OUR PROBLEM IS GETTING SO BAD, GOD CAN'T WIN THE BATTLE ALONE! IT IS DURING THESE STRESSFUL TIMES THAT WE CAN BE LEAD TO BELIEVE THAT HE NEEDS OUR HELP, EVEN THOUGH THE WORD OF GOD SAYS JUST THE OPPOSITE(EX 14:13-14, 1 SAM 17:47, JUDG 7:2, ZACH 4:6). THUS, OUR DESIRE FOR ‘SOME’ OF THE CREDIT FOR OUR SURVIVAL OFTEN PREVENTS US FROM BEING 'STILL' AND WAITING ON GOD. WE BECOME WORRIED AND ANXIOUS. AND WHEN WE SHOULD BE PRAISING HIM, GLORIFYING, AND PRAYING WHILE WAITING ON HIM...WE'RE BUSY TRYING TO FIX THINGS OURSELVES AND GETTING IN HIS WAY. JUST IMAGINE THE ABILITY TO JUST STEP AWAY! IMAGINE FLYING AWAY AND SITTING ON A WALL- WAITING AND WATCHING THE POWER OF GOD AS IT RESPONDS TO OUR LOVE, OUR PRAISE, OUR PLEAS, OUR FAITH AND TRUST...IN HIM ALONE.
NOW, I AM NOT PERFECT AND WITHOUT FAULTS, THUS, I'M AWARE THAT MANY OF YOU MIGHT NOT AGREE WITH ME. THIS IS A GOOD THING BECAUSE, AS INDIVIDUALS, WE EACH INTERPRET OUR WALK WITH GOD FROM ENTIRELY DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEWS. HOWEVER, I AM REMINDED THAT CALVARY WAS NOT FOR THE PERFECT, BUT FOR THE LIKES OF ME AND YOU...AND IT WAS NOT IN VAIN.
ONE LAST WORD; HAVE YOU EVER OBSERVED HOW 'STILL' A FLY SOMETIMES BECOMES? YEAH…SOMETIMES, I WISH…I WERE A FLY.
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