Revolving doors.

Professor Ambrose Penwose on Revolving Abductions

Good Evening,

As you may or may not know, I belong to AAAA…
Alien Abductees and Alcoholics Anonymous.
As a matter of fact, I am unofficially the official director in my sector, which includes all of Earth.

As such, I and my staff, receive secret government documents on a regular basis, with daily updates, on condition we divulge the contents to no others beyond our Facebook Friends and email contacts.

Previously governments divulged no knowledge of alien existence and our UFO views were “suppressed,” however now that their existence is accepted our chains have been removed and we are free to “tell the truth.”

An interesting item is that of abductions, which occur less often than you think, or more often than you think, depending on what you think?

I’ve spoken on the subject briefly in previous briefs however a slight recapitulation may be beneficial.

Our alien friends have been dealing with a slight glitch in the space-time continuum, which controls actual and unactual time.

Apparently as on Earth nothing in Space is perfect. After extensive examining, probing, tickling, or whatever they do, they wipe their minds clean, but are unable to return them to the exact moment of abduction leaving them with a slight sense of dizziness and confusion.

To compensate for this, aliens have been using Revolving Door Abductions. For them it is a perfect scenario. When someone is in a revolving door they are neither in the building nor out of it, neither here nor there…an ideal moment for abduction. The space-time continuum glitch is regarded as dizziness due to turning while in the doors. Most people never realize they’ve been “beamed up”.

So the next time you feel a little dizzy after going through a revolving door, relax! You were probably just abducted and probed by our alien friends.
Remember, they always erase your memory, so if you have no knowledge or evidence of an abduction, that probably proves you were.

AAAA is always looking for new members.
Open recruiting is ongoing. If you would like to join us forward your request through proper channels and we will send you a lovely photo ID card, featuring a picture of myself, a coupon for 3 free hamburger buns, and a smoking jacket.
If you do not smoke we will substitute a bathrobe.
If you do not bathe…Well, maybe you would like to join in a different sector?

Live long and prosper, (I can never do that fingers thing?)

Penwose out,
Bye George
NoPo8