This could end the war!

Professor Ambrose Penwose, Kiwi

Not only am I a Professor at The University, I am also a
Professor of Microwaveability.
In some circles I am considered a microgenius, in others I do not care what they think.

If you were to look into my mind, (Sorry you cannot) you would see a sea of microwave timer codes that could end the war if there was one.
I say that to give them significance. Everything is much more important when someone says, “This could end the war!”

I have codes for Beefkabobs, Chickenfingers, Pork Bellies, LambChops, Crow, Fish Heads, Baked Beans, Fried Beans, Refried Beans, Refried Refried Beans, Burritos, Doritos, Chickeetos, and Bambeanos.
If an elephant happens to walk by, I have the code for it. Of course I’ll need a bigger microwave.

I Never use the stove or oven. I use the micro for Everything, cooking, heating, boiling, broiling, popping, smoking, deheating, reheating, defrosting, etc.

All of the codes are buried deep inside my Medulla Oblongata, (That’s easy for you to say,) and accessed only by Moi, after a fingerprint scan.

My biggest fear is the advancement of technology. If someday microwaves become extinct, so shall I.

I fret not over such matters. I am quite sure that long before that time arrives, someone somewhere will find something that is slowly killing us by eating stuff made in the microwave.

I’m dying…but it while take awhile. I’m sure something else will kill me long before that happens.
In such a case, If you invite me to a party, I’ll be late.

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8