Quote from the late Erma Bombeck, one of my favorite columnists besides Liz Smith.

     Just after selling my first novel, I told my boss' son that I was under contract. His answer: `Think I'll get out my crayons and write a novel too. It'll probably sell'. Thank God I recognized this mealy mouthed, nit picking jerk for what he was. Or his remark might've discouraged me from writing more novels.
     After two novels sold, I joined a writer's critiquing group to more or less help novice writers get sold as well. I sincerely wanted to help if I could. Some of the people in the group were the nastiest, most belligerent individuals I'd ever met in my life. One night two men nearly came to blows over one's critique of the other's novel. I quit and started my own group. The first rule I set up: if anyone gives anything other than constructive criticism, they're out!
     Why is it that most people in these groups take great joy in tearing one another apart? And why is it that the most talented individuals listen and give up? This is still going on today, as I understand from authors. Nit pickers who use jealousy as a motivating factor are destroying careers. When someone with talent enters one of these groups, they're soon discouraged by the rats. And we shouldn't let the rats win.
     I know a young, wonderfully talented, fantasy writer whose first novel is being published in hard cover. She's working on her second. I've read it. Excellent. Her writing group of novices and wannabes are constantly tearing her work apart. To me, the second novel was even better than the first; showing she's maturing as a writer. She darned near rewrote the second novel to the rats specifications. I talked her out of it.
     In this writing life, there are three critics to pay attention to: one is your heart and basic instincts, the other is your agent, and the third is your publisher. I've already told the story of the woman whose novel was mocked by her husband and shoved in a closet. After he died, she submitted it and we're now talking NY Times best seller.
     So please, take my advice and don't let the rats win. If a writing group is being cruelly critical, quit the damn group and seek one that is supportive. Don't let the rats win by making you stop writing.