And then it was decreed: Woe unto the ethically challenged!

Congressman Nico's Monday A.M. Surprise


(News Item: According to Scott Smith of CounterBias.com in 2005, a real live former U.S. Senator referred, via letter, to former President Bill Clinton as an “ethically challenged” individual, among other labels.)



Once upon a time there was this congressman, right? The congressman was a man whose last name was Nico. Congressman Nico. He had a huge suite of Washington offices and in those places worked practically all his support staff, except for a few staffers back in his home state. The congressman had had the same position for many, many years; so many that sometimes he tended to forget that he was a mortal, just as non-congressmen and congresswomen are, for example. One could see him thinking, at times, that he could practically turn water into wine(or Clight). Yes, can you believe it? Or one could see him thinking that he was the right arm(hand?) of the Almighty, thus a helper at proposing and disposing as any highly loyal servant would be.

Tine(short for Christine) was the congressman's right arm. Totally indispensable. Mr./Congressman Nico and Tine, right? Okay. Tine loved her job and would do almost anything for her seasoned boss. He talked to her a lot in a paternalistic sort of way and, what's more, always made sure to write her enough memos. Not only were the memos clear and precise, but his writing them helped him to keep in practice. One Monday, it was, Congressman Nico got up, showered, dressed elegantly as usual, then breakfasted. After that hearty meal(He loved sausage, biscuit and gravy—all together.), he made his way as usual to the suite of offices. I think he walked that day. Some days he would and others he wouldn't. He had all kinds of transport available to him, anyway.

When the honorable congressman arrived at the office he noticed it seemed quieter than customary. Hmm. Whom to buzz? Why, Tine, of course. Who else?

“Tine, dear,” he asked, “Why do I think it's so quiet today, or is it only my imagination?”

“No Sir,” Tine replied, “It isn't your imagination. It IS quiet today.”

“And tell me, Tine,” he continued, “Aren't you the only employee I have seen this lovely Monday morning?”

“I am indeed, Sir,” Tine agreed.

“Well, let's see,” the tall congressman said. “Would there be a logical explanation for these unusual things I've mentioned?”

“Of course there would,” Tine volunteered in her usual loyal manner. “I let all the employees go.”

“You let all the employees go?” the congressman asked, incredulously.

“Sure. You wrote a memo, remember?”

“I did?” asked the congressman.

“Did indeed,” Tine said. “And you specified that I was to let the employees whom I considered “ethically challenged” go and that I'd know who they were since I'd been with you so long.”

“Morally challenged?”

“No Sir, ethically challenged, but it's similar.”

“Ethically challenged.”

“Yes Sir. Those were the two words. Of course, I intended to let them go gradually, but, you know, word got around quickly and they “caught on,” I guessed you'd say. Reggie stuck his head out the window and screamed at the top of his voice, 'Help! Guillotine for the ethically challenged!' Then I had to let them all go at once. Did I goof, Sir?”

“Tine, dear. We're both certainly inconvenienced by all this. Have you by any chance begun selecting the new employees?”

“Of course, Sir. We have several interviews lined up for today.”

“And Tine,” said the Congressman, “My heart is so happy that you are not among those despicable morally challenged. I mean, ethically challenged.”

Tine blushes and smiles. “Thank you so much, Congressman. Of course, let's face it. My having this club foot makes it a bit easier for me, don't you think?”



THE END

Author's Note: Yes, dear readers. Even one of your favorite authors must concede that he is, at times, morally, I mean, ethically challenged. Who to turn to?