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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

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GREEKS and TROJANS
by By George xx xx   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
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By George xx xx

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Today’s HISTORICAL headline…

Hinkly Dinkly Reporting!

ARCHAEOLOGIST LINKS ANCIENT PALACE, AJAX

ATHENS, Greece - Among the ruins of a 3,200-year-old palace near Athens, researchers are piecing together the story of legendary Greek warrior-king Ajax, hero of the Trojan War. Now, he's confident he's found the site where Ajax ruled.

Archaeologist Yiannis Lolos found remains of the palace while hiking on the island of Salamis in 1999, and has led excavations there for the past six years. So far, archaeologists have uncovered 33 rooms in the 8,000-square-foot palace, including two central royal residences containing what appear to be two bench-like beds.

"This was Ajax' capital," excavation leader Lolos, professor of archaeology at Ioannina University, told The Associated Press.

Ajax was one of the top fighters in the legendary Greek army that besieged Troy to win back the abducted queen of Sparta, Helen. Described in Homer's Iliad as a towering hero protected by a huge shield, Ajax killed himself after a quarrel with other Greek leaders.

Obviously he was able to penetrate the shield.

Now let me get this straight, Ajax was a legendary Warrior King of the Greeks who said, “Do it my way or I’ll kill myself!”
I don’t think so!

I asked one of Lolos litter-bearers how he could be so confident the site was that of Ajax? He said they found containers of well preserved cleanser. Scouring tests proved they were Ajax.

He also said they found a huge cache of condoms, obviously from Troy, which was baffling because Ajax never returned from the war?

Historians now feel that Ajax had in fact gone to Troy earlier, stolen the condoms, (which is probably why the Trojans came to Greece in the first place), and later killed himself when he received news, from numerous women, that they were defective.
Now THAT makes sense!

As usual I dug deeper and located a descendant of Decrepitus a low-class soldier in the ancient Greek army who took part in the Trojan War. What he showed me was startling!

Apparently Decrepitus was a scholar of sorts who sent home details of the siege hoping for a newspaper job after the war. One of his tablets tells the story of an immense outhouse that was constructed for privacy and could facilitate a number of men at the same time. To compensate the Gods, the huge crapper was built in the shape of a horse.

The Trojans stole it!

Now there’s a bit of history!

Hinkly Out!
By George


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