AuthorsDen.com   Join Free! | Login  

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Albert Russo, iRegis Schilken, iMike Hartner, iGwendolyn Thomas Gath, iTerry Vinson, iRM DAmato, iDanae Wilkin, i

  Home > Women > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed.

· Become a Fan
· Contact me
· Books
· Articles
· Poetry
· News
· Stories
· Blog
· 28 Titles
· 20 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Jul, 2004

Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed., click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.




   Recent articles by
Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed.

Families in Business at Home
Learning to Love Yourself
Why Do Men Cheat On Good Women
Preface Of Questing Marilyn
How I Use Travel As A Way To Discover More About The True Self
You Can't Stop School Bullies Until You Stop Adults Who Teach Them How
Role vs. Real
Women of Excellence
A Butterfly Brings My Mother Home
Too Polite Won’t Work – This is Business Networking
Lusty Ladies at Play – What Can Be Wrong?
Creativity – Exposure of the Self
           >> View all

Feeling Powerless to Help a Friend with Adultery?
by Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed.   
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
Last edited: Sunday, April 08, 2007
Posted: Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Share    Print   Save    Become a Fan


Tips to assist someone going through a crisis of discovering their spouse has committed adultery, lied and cheated without getting caught up in the drama.

When infidelity threatens a marriage friends and family may feel helpless and angry. It is hard to console the tearful person who has been betrayed. Angry outbursts erupt then they may be collapsing in despair. Children are left bewildered.

 

You can help if you:

 

1.      listen carefully without immediately taking sides.

2.      meet immediate needs like child care and meal preparation.

3.      don’t promise everything will be alright. It may not be.

4.      don’t fuel the hurt or anger by adding your own evaluations. This couple may reconcile.

5.      don’t gossip.

6.      don’t lie for either party.

7.      ask questions to help the thinking process.

8.      accept that the stories will be repeated many times possibly with some changes as new information is learned.

9.      encourage the couple to get professional help.

10. don’t get so involved that it hurts your own family.

 

Many couples struggle through adultery and learn to build a stronger marriage.

 

They can learn to:

 


  1. rebuild trust.
  2. communicate openly.
  3. identify what went wrong.
  4. learn from their mistakes.
  5. change their behaviour.
  6. laugh together again.
  7. improve their physical relationship.
  8. forgive.
  9. set new goals.
  10. build a stronger committed bond.

 

If the marriage is beyond salvation they eventually can:

 


  1. redirect their lives.
  2. let go of anger and resentment.
  3. accept some responsibility for their part in the breakdown of the marriage.
  4. need less of your support.
  5. grieve what they lost.
  6. enjoy the good memories.
  7. help their children adjust.
  8. be involved in a new relationship.
  9. look back with understanding of what went wrong.
  10. have an adult relationship with their former spouse.

 

Recovery is a long process. Don’t rush it and you will have a sense of being a good friend in time of need and feel positive and powerful with your ability to walk through the difficult time with your friend or family member.

 
 

Web Site: Quest Publishing Canada


Reader Reviews for "Feeling Powerless to Help a Friend with Adultery?"


Want to review or comment on this article?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!


Reviewed by Aubrey Hammack 8/2/2006
Marilyn,
This is a good article. You are right on target. It reminds me of how many times inlaws take sides when couples are arguing only to leave ill will when the couple make up, which they many times do.
Reviewed by Chrissy McVay 8/2/2006
This was very helpful. My sister's husband was unfaithful. They divorced, but were able to be friends years later. We did listen, but stayed at a distance. You are truly right about not becoming too involved.

Making Changes by Patricia Hilliard

Sick and tired of low pay and boring work, some women office workers decide its time for making changes...  
Featured BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


Three Part Invention by Judith Laura

"Highly recommended"~Midwest Book Review Now available in both trade paperback and in multiple e-book formats, this novel by award-winning author Judith Laur..  
Featured BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.