Set the mood with lighting. Turn all the lights off because, letís face it, youíre both old.
Romance For Seniors
1. Make sure your partner is actually in the bed, and actually your partner.
2.. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you fall asleep in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. Turn all the lights off because, let’s face it, you’re both old.
4. Put 911 on your speed dial before you begin because, let’s face it, you’re both old.
5. Keep repeating your partner’s name so you don’t forget it. Actually, it would probably be best to keep thinking your partner’s name so you don’t forget it.
6. . Keep the Fix-O-Dent or Polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up where you’ll need a gynecologist to retrieve them.
7.. If the act should actually be compleated, have an aspirin ready in case of a heart attack.
8.. Make whatever noise you want... so your partner will know you’re still alive.
9.. You never have to say, “I’m sorry,” because she didn’t really expect “it” to rise to the occasion anyway.
10. If “things” do work, leave well enough alone, don't even think about trying it twice, at least for the next thirty days.
(I sent this in large type so you can read it)