AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  James Hill, iLloydene Hill, iTrennis Killian, iPamela Wiedenbeck, iRiley Blake, i Dadfire, iGracie McKeever, iOdin odin@aflx.com, iBruce Humphrey, iCharles Keller, i

  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

David Gelber

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Books
· Articles
· 9 Titles
· 7 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Oct, 2009

David Gelber, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.


It's Alimentary
by David Gelber   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
Recent articles by
David Gelber

• Statism and Future Hope
• The Healthcare Debate Part 2
• The Health Care Debate Part 1
• On Surgery
• The Obesity Problem
           >> View all

A tribute to our Intestines

                             It’s Alimentary

My recent work has taken me to weaving my way in and around people’s bowels, something that is a common task for any general surgeon. However, I’ve had more than my usual share over the last few weeks. While making my way around a particularly difficult colon today those of us in the operating room discussed the relative merits of what has been named the alimentary tract, our intestines, the gastrointestinal tract, bowel , guts or “chitlins”.

If one considers all our various organs one would have to agree that our GI tract is, by far, the most intelligent. Think about it; our brain stands isolated within its protective cage, so snobby  and aloof, only allowing certain special materials to enter its domain, always giving orders, but out of touch with its co-organs. The heart is a tireless worker, but mindlessly does the same thing over and over, day in and day out, blood comes in, blood goes out. Ditto for the lungs, a monotonous pastime of breath in, breath out, inhale, exhale, occasionally fending off noxious fumes and fighting invaders.

Kidneys are efficient cleaners and bones are glorified coat racks. Muscle is a little smarter, only working when called upon, but always the same thing, relax, then contract, hold this up, push that down. No wonder they get stiff and sore.

But our bowels do remarkable things. When not needed they rest, blood flow is shut down and our guts essentially go to sleep. Yet, when called upon, they spring into action, sorting out a variety of nutrients, directing them to the liver through the bloodstream or bypassing the liver sending fats through our lymphatic system.

This long tunnel through the middle of our body is constantly fending off invaders, be they micro-organisms, noxious chemicals or a variety of foreign bodies. The GI tract lives in symbiosis with huge numbers of bacteria, using these microscopic invaders for its (and our) own purpose. Yet if one of these foreigners behaves badly they are expelled, one way or another, causing us a brief period of discomfort, but also keeping us well. No other organ has to deal with such insults on so massive a scale, yet our bowels handle them with aplomb. Perhaps, our skin, the body’s largest organ, comes close, but on a much smaller scale.

So, I say, let us praise our bowels. When they are working properly they keep us happy, healthy and whole. But, when they go bad; when they are blocked or punctured or dying nothing can make us so incredibly ill. I say there should be a take your bowel to lunch day. But, come to think of it, everyday is take your bowel to lunch day.

 


Want to review or comment on this article?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Popular Humor Articles
  1.  Crash Dummies
  2.  Penny Power
  3.  Pedicure and Chicken
  4.  Beware the Tsundoku!
  5.  Snow White Trailer Trash Talk
  6.  How to Survive Bean Soup, The Game.
  7.  Poetry Submission
  8.  Losing Ticket
  9.  Shot/No Shot
  10.  Dilatation of Closed Phrenix Confabula
  11.  Kaltenheiss's famed Katya im Boxer qua
  12.  Getting Old In The Real World
  13.  Precedent Linkin's Gettysberg A Dress
  14.  More GFI
  15.  Breaking Bad meets Star Trek and Pies
  16.  Imminent Danger
  17.  The Left-Handed Heart
  18.  The Great Turtle Stampede
  19.  Toughest Million
  20.  Spark Plug
  21.  Battle of the Bulge: Jesus Hates Speed
  22.  My colonoscopy 3/20/14 – I have to tel
  23.  Problem Solving, Or The Day My Septic
  24.  Segments from a Bifurcated Life
  25.  NEW KEYBOARD

Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part II by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part II is adult literature featuring adult language and situations that satirizes thirteen famous novellas and short stories. It is Jay Dubya's sixteenth ebook.  
Member BookAds

Fractured Frazzled Folk Fables and Fairy Farces by Jay Dubya

Fractured Frazzled Folk Fables and Fairy Farces is adult literature that satirizes famous children's stories, fables and fairy tales. The work is Jay Dubya's twenty-first e-book available in Amazon Kindle and Barnes and Noble Nook.  
Member BookAds

52nd Book: Jay Dubya by Jay Dubya

Hawthorne: Hacked, Shakespeare: Sacked & Thurber: Thwacked is adult satire featuring adult language and content.  
Member BookAds