Odd Stagings #1: MACBETH IN OZ with song lyrics

Cast:

Macbeth - The Cowardly Lion 

Lady Macbeth - Dorothy

Duncan - The Wizard of Oz 

Malcolm - Tik Tok

Donalbain - John Dough

Duncan’s servants - The Munchkins

Banquo - The Scarecrow

Fleance - Jack Pumpkinhead

Macduff  - The Tin Man

Lady Macduff - Ozma

Macduff's son  - a tin can

Ross, Lennox, Angus, Menteith, Caithness - The Lollipop Guild 

Siward - The Hungry Tiger 

Young Siward - a kitten 

Seyton - The Mayor of the Munchkins

Hecate - Glinda, the Good Witch

Three Witches- the Wicked Witches of the East, West and South 

Three Murderers - winged monkeys

Porter (or Messenger) - Nikko, the head of the WW Castle Guard

Scottish Doctor - Professor Marvel

The Gentlewoman : Lady Macbeth's caretaker - The Lullaby League

The play opens in Kansas, with all the scenery and costumes in black and white and grey, even the makeup on the characters faces. It is a flat landscape, with the farmhouse on the horizon, and a road in the foreground leading to the horizon.

Whenever the witches appear, everything goes dark except for spotlights on the characters, and on a backscreen are filmed images of a tornado.

Macbeth’s castle is the Emerald City, and when King Duncan goes there, everything is in bright garish colors. 

When Macbeth murders Duncan, he goes behind a curtain to do it, and Lady Macbeth calls out to the audience: “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!”

Lady Macbeth doesn’t commit suicide. Instead, she clicks her heels together and goes back to Kansas.

Birnham Wood is the forest of talking trees, so when the final battle takes place, the trees are puppets with swords, being carried by the soldiers.

WE’RE OFF TO SEE THE WITCHES lyrics from “Macbeth in Oz” by Joel Sattler

When shall we get together? [We're off to see the Wizard]
when shall we three meet again? [the wonderful Wizard of Oz]
In thunder lightning or in rain [We hear he is a wiz of a wiz]
that‘s when we shall meet again [If ever a wiz there was]

when the hurly-burly‘s done [If ever, oh ever, a wiz there was]
when the battle is lost and won [the Wizard of Oz is one because]
and that will be before the set of sun [because, because, because, because, because]
to meet with Macbeth at the heath upon [because of the wonderful things he does]

That‘s when we get together [We're off to see the Wizard]
That‘s when we are meeting again [the wonderful wizard of oz] 

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WE’RE OFF TO SEE THE WITCHES lyrics from “Macbeth in Oz” by Joel Sattler

When shall we get together?
when shall we three meet again?
In thunder lightning or in rain
that‘s when we shall meet again

when the hurly-burly‘s done
when the battle is lost and won
and that will be before the set of sun
to meet with Macbeth at the heath upon

That‘s when we get together
That‘s when we are meeting again!

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IF I WERE KING OF SCOTLAND, from “Macbeth in Oz” by Joel Sattler

If I were King of Scotland! [If I were King of the Forest]
Not queen not duke not prince
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow [My regal robes of the forest]
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day [would be satin, not cotton, not chintz]

To the last syllable of recorded time [I'd command each thing, be it fish or fowl]
All our yesterdays have lighted fools. Fools! [With a woof and a woof and a royal growl. Woof!]

To the last syllable [as I’d click my heel]
Of recorded time [all the trees would kneel]
And all our yesterdays [and the mountains bow]
Have lighted fools [and the bulls kowtow]
And the way to dusty death! [And the sparrow would take wing]
If I, if I were King!

Out out brief candle, out for me [Each rabbit would show respect to me.]
Life’s but a walking shadowy [The chipmunks genuflect to me]
A tale told by an [Though my tail would lash]
Idiotic man [I would show compash]
Full of sound fury [For every underling!]

Signifying [if I, if I]
No-thing! [were King!]

No-thing!! [Just King!]

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IF I WERE KING OF SCOTLAND, from “Macbeth in Oz” by Joel Sattler

If I were King of Scotland!
Not queen not duke not prince
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day

To the last syllable of recorded time
All our yesterdays have lighted fools. Fools!

To the last syllable
Of recorded time
And all our yesterdays
Have lighted fools
And the way to dusty death!
If I, if I were King!

Out out brief candle, out for me
Life’s but a walking shadowy
A tale told by an
Idiotic man
Full of sound fury

Signifying
No-thing!

No-thing!!

____________________________________________________________________ 

BUBBLE BUBBLE OVER THE RAINBOW, from “Macbeth in Oz” by Joel Sattler

Bubble [somewhere]
bubble toil and trouble [over the rainbow]
Fire burn [way up high]
Caldron bubble and bubble [there’s a land that I heard of]
the charm so good and firm [once in a lullaby]

Eye of [somewhere]
newt and toe of frog [over the rainbow]
Blind worm sting [skies are blue]
Wool of [and the]
bat and the tongue of dog [dreams that you dare to dream]
Lizard leg and owl wing [really do come true ]

A scale of a dragon tooth of shark [someday I’ll wish upon a star]
The root of hemlock dug in dark [and wake up where the clouds are far]
A snake skin [behind me]

The nose of turk [where troubles melt]
and tartar lips [like lemon drops]
A newborn baby’s fingertips [away above the chimney tops]
Just throw it all in [that’s where you’ll find me]

Double [somewhere]
double toil and trouble [over the rainbow]
Pricking thumbs [bluebirds fly]

Open locks [ birds fly]
to ever [over the]
who knocks [rainbow]
Something [why then]
Wicked [oh why]
will come [can’t I]

So cool it with a baboon’s blood [if happy little bluebirds fly]
And something wicked [beyond the rainbow]
Wicked [why oh]
this way comes [why can’t I?]

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BUBBLE BUBBLE OVER THE RAINBOW, from “Macbeth in Oz” by Joel Sattler

Bubble
bubble toil and trouble
Fire burn
Caldron bubble and bubble
the charm so good and firm

Eye of
newt and toe of frog
Blind worm sting
Wool of
bat and the tongue of dog
Lizard leg and owl wing

A scale of a dragon tooth of shark
The root of hemlock dug in dark
A snake skin

The nose of turk
and tartar lips
A newborn baby’s fingertips
Just throw it all in

Double
double toil and trouble
Pricking thumbs

Open locks
to ever
who knocks
Something
Wicked
will come

So cool it with a baboon’s blood
And something wicked -
Wicked
this way comes!

______________________________________________  

IF I ONLY HAD THE BALLS lyrics from "Macbeth in Oz" by Joel Sattler

Macbeth:

Twould be well if twere done quickly [I could while away the hours]
But it could get quite tricky [conferrin with the flowers]
Be all and the end all [Consultin with the rain]

But here up [and my head]
On this bank and [I’d be scratchin’]
shoal of time [while my thoughts]
We’d jump the life to come [were busy hatchin' if]
F’ie only had the balls [I only had the balls]

This even handed justice [I'd unravel every riddle]
Is here in double trust us [for any individ'le]
Ambition leaping falls [in trouble or in pain]

As his subject and his kinsman [With the thoughts you'll be thinkin']
I’d commit a mortal sinning’ [you could be another Lincoln]
If I only had the balls [If you only had a brain]

How now, what news have you? [Oh, I could tell you why]
He has honored me of late [The ocean's near the shore]
I dare do all that I may become a man [I could think of things I never thunk before.]
And pity him [And then I'd sit]
Like a new born babe [and think some more]

We’ll proceed in this no further [I would not be just a nothin]
Besides it’s simply murder [my head all full of stuffin]
False face and heart is false [my heart all full of pain]

Still, I could be King of Scotland [I would dance and be merry]
if I could get rid of Duncan [life would be a ding a derry]
If I only had the balls! [if I only had a brain]

___________________________________________________________ 

IF I ONLY HAD THE BALLS lyrics from "Macbeth in Oz" by Joel Sattler

Macbeth:

Twould be well if twere done quickly
But it could get quite tricky
Be all and the end all

But here up
On this bank and
shoal of time
We’d jump the life to come
F’ie only had the balls

This even handed justice
Is here in double trust us
Ambition leaping falls

As his subject and his kinsman
I’d commit a mortal sinning’
If I only had the balls

How now, what news have you?
He has honored me of late
I dare do all that I may become a man
And pity him
Like a new born babe

We’ll proceed in this no further
Besides it’s simply murder
False face and heart is false

Still, I could be King of Scotland
if I could get rid of Duncan
If I only had the balls!

______________________________________________  

OUT OUT DAMNED SPOT DING DONG! from “Macbeth in Oz” by Joel Sattler

Out out [ding dong]

out damned spot  [the witch is dead]

Out damned spot [which old witch]

out damned spot [the wicked witch]

Out out [ding dong]

out damned spot I say  [the wicked witch is dead]

One two [wake up]

one and two [sleepy head]

Why then now’s  [rub your eyes]

the time to do [get out of bed]

What need [wake up]

we to fear who knew? [the wicked witch is dead]

Hell is a murky place [she’s gone where the goblins go]

A murk-y murky place [below, below, below]

Who knows  [yo ho]

Yet who’d have thought the man [let’s open up and sing]

Had so much blood and [and ring the bells out]

Out out out damned spot [ding dong the merry-o]

Out damned spot  [sing it high]

Out damned spot  [sing it low]

Who’d have thought  [let them know]

There’s so much blood in him? [the wicked witch is dead!]

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OUT OUT DAMNED SPOT DING DONG! from “Macbeth in Oz” by Joel Sattler

Out out

out damned spot 

Out damned spot

out damned spot

Out out

out damned spot I say 

One two

one and two

Why then now’s

the time to do

What need

we to fear who knew?

Hell is a murky place

A murk-y murky place

Who knows 

Yet who’d have thought the man

Had so much blood and

Out out out damned spot

Out damned spot 

Out damned spot 

Who’d have thought 

There’s so much blood in him?

!

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IT REALLY WAS NO MIRACLE from "MacBeth in Oz" by Joel Sattler

Act I, SCENE II. A camp near Forres.

Alarum within. Enter DUNCAN, MALCOLM, DONALBAIN, LENNOX, [Wizard, Tik Tok, John Dough, Munchkin mayor] with Attendants [Lollypop Guild], meeting a bleeding Sergeant [Nikko, captain of the WW Palace Guild]

DUNCAN [Wizard]

Tik Tok, I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore!

Who the bloody hell is that? Can he tell us of the state of the revolt?

MALCOLM [Tik Tok]

He certainly is bloody, at that.

This is the sergeant who rescued me in the heat of battle.

Hail brave friend! Say to the king the miracle of the broil.

SERGEANT [Nikko]

It really was no miracle what happened was just this [singing] :

The battle doubtful stood,

at fever pitch.

The merciless Macdonwald was a lucky bitch.

Just then, Macbeth, with steel all brandethish,

carved out a passage through the battle like a fish.

LENNOX [Munchkin mayor]

And oh, what happened next was rich!

SERGEANT [Nikko] AND LOLLIPOPS

The battle back and forth

and back and forth it switched.

Macbeth caught up Macdonwald in the middle of a ditch,

Which was not a healthy sitch

Uation cut from nave to itch!

The battle back and forth

and back and forth it switched.

Macbeth caught Macdonwald in the middle of a ditch,

Which was not a healthy sitch

Uation cut from nave to itch!

Who he left for dead,

covered with red,

chopped off his head,

and fixed it on our battlements!

!

___________________________________________

SERGEANT [Nikko]

It really was no miracle what happened was just this [singing] :

The battle doubtful stood,

[The wind began to switch]

at fever pitch.

[the house to pitch]

The merciless Macdonwald was a lucky bitch.

[and suddenly the hinges started to unhitch]

Just then, Macbeth, with steel all brandethish,

[Just then the Witch - to satisfy an itch]

carved out a passage through the battle like a fish.

[went flying on her broomstick, thumbing for a hitch]

LENNOX [Munchkin mayor]

And oh, what happened next was rich!

[And oh, what happened next was rich]

SERGEANT [Nikko] AND LOLLIPOPS

The battle back and forth

[the house began to pitch]

and back and forth it switched.

[the kitchen took a slitch]

Macbeth caught up Macdonwald in the middle of a ditch,

[It landed on the wicked witch in the middle of a ditch]

Which was not a healthy sitch

[which was not a healthy sitch]

Uation cut from nave to itch!

[uation for the Wicked Witch]

The battle back and forth

[the house began to pitch]

and back and forth it switched.

[the kitchen took a slitch]

Macbeth caught up Macdonwald in the middle of a ditch,

[It landed on the wicked witch in the middle of a ditch]

Which was not a healthy sitch

[which was not a healthy sitch]

Uation cut from nave to itch!

[uation for the Wicked Witch]

Who he left for dead,

[who began to twitch]

covered with red,

[and was reduced]

chopped off his head,

[to just a stitch]

and fixed it on our battlements!

[of what was once the Wicked Witch!]

!

 --------------------------------------------

IF YOU ONLY HAD THE BALLS sung by Lady Macbeth

LADY MACBETH:

Screw your courage to the sticky (When a man's an empty kettle)
It’s going to get icky (he should be on his mettle)
When you the King assault  (And yet I'm torn apart)
you’ll not fail (Just because)
Off you bump him (I'm presumin')
Upon the unguarded Duncan (that I could be kind-a-human)
If you only had the balls (If I only had heart.)

When King Duncan is asleeping (I'd be tender - I'd be gentle)
You’ll sneak inside there creeping (and awful sentimental)
If you have to then you crawl (Regarding Love and Art)
Memory shall be fuming (I'd be friends with the sparrows )
When you recall what you doing  (and the boys who shoots the arrows)
If you only had the balls (If I only had a heart)

His memory (Picture me)
Warder of the brain (a balcony)
Shall be a limbeck own (Above a voice sings low)
You’ll be sneaking up the stairway all alone (Wherefore art thou, Romeo?)
And  pull the shade (I hear a beat) 
And drive the dagger home! (How sweet)

I’ll ply the chamberlains with wassail (Just to register emotion)
Although it seems a hassle (jealousy - devotion)
On them the blame will fall (And really feel the part)
In swinish sleep their drenched natures (I could stay young and chipper)
They’ll deny it they’ll be fakers  (and I'd lock it with a zipper)
If you only had the balls! (If I only had a heart)

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IF YOU ONLY HAD THE BALLS lyrics from MACBETH IN OZ sung by Lady MacBeth

Lady MacBeth:

Screw your courage to the sticky
It’s going to get icky
When you the King assault
you’ll not fail
Off you bump him
Upon the unguarded Duncan
If you only had the balls

When King Duncan is asleeping
You’ll sneak inside there creeping
If you have to then you’ll crawl
Memory shall be fuming
When you recall what you doing
If you only had the balls

His memory
Warder of the brain
Shall be a limbeck own
You’ll be sneaking up the stairway all alone
And  pull the shade
And drive the dagger home!

I’ll ply the chamberlains with wassail
Although it seems a hassle
On them the blame will fall
In swinish sleep their drenched natures
They’ll deny it they’ll be fakers
If you only had the balls!

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