Taming Marital Arguments: Breaking Out of the T.R.A.P.

Robert P. Rugel, PhD
Loving Healing Press (2010)
ISBN 9781615990191
Reviewed by Carol Hoyer, PhD, for Reader Views (06/10)

Let’s face it- couples fight and make-up. Sometimes though it seems as if the fighting gets worse and couples end up getting a divorce. In “Taming Marital Arguments: Breaking Out of the T.R.A.P.,” Dr. Rugel has provided readers with a wealth of information and exercises to help couples find out if they have a tendency to sabotage their relationships.

This guide is a genuine source of assessing your relationship and if one sees they are part of the problem, the author gives tips on how to make changes. Even being a practicing Psychologist for over twenty-five years, I found myself deeply involved in completing the exercises and, much to my surprise (or denial), I found that I often participate in the T.R.A.P. The T.R.A.P. stands for Threaten, React and Protect.

In addition to the exercises and tips, the author shares stories of couples he has worked with and how they would fall into the pattern of belittling, degrading and withdrawing from their significant other. This guide is written in an easy-to-read and understand format. All of the exercises and rating scales will help couples take a good look at how they contribute to a negative emotional climate. I have recommended “Taming Marital Arguments: Breaking Out of the T.R.A.P.” to my college psychology students as a resource for their library.