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Barbara Lynn Terry

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Barbara Lynn Terry

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The Times They Are A Changing
By Barbara Lynn Terry   
Rated "PG" by the Author.
Last edited: Friday, December 17, 2010
Posted: Friday, December 17, 2010

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Aspire to be yourself and not someone's puppet on a string.

At the end of my emails I always put this quote under my name.

"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."

Not only MUST I be the girl I am in my soul, but I have the right to be her too. In Iran, male homosexuals have a right to be who they are too. But years ago the Ayatollah Khomeini (sic) made a law that male homosexuals be given surgery to make them physically female. Even though this is a very blatant violation of an individual's right to be themselves, it shows that Iran would rather have these male homosexuals live as women than have male to male sex and affection. This shows acceptance for the transgendered but not for the gay population of Iran. The Times They Are A Changing.

When I write my stories, I write about acceptance, friendship, love, family values, raising transgendered children, and more. People have often said that my stories are overly optimistic, and unrealistic in the way I write them. That everybody in the TS commnity has some conflict in their lives that make the TS community hide in the "closet". The Times They Are A Changing.

I have lived my life mostly in small towns, and was even accepted readily by my friends, their parents, my teachers, the lady I call my mother, the doctor that treated me when I had double pneumonia, and by just about everyone else in the town too. Those that disagreed with how I was living, didn't say a word to me, they just ignored me. But they were few and far between. The Times They Are A Changing.

I am working on a story right now that isn't posted here, because I am going to have it published. I was told by the mother of a M2F TS that the book should be published as soon as possible, because people can learn a lot from it. Chrissie too is just such a story but chronicles my life as a pre-teen where I grew up. The Times They Are A Changing.

If we are proud of who we are, and we want to be recognized for who we are, we MUST STOP hiding inside of ourselves. We need to be seen, we need to actually show the mainstream, narrow minded, right wing that we are just normal people trying to live our lives in abnormal circumstances. The Times They Are A Changing.

I have never been in the closet except to get an outfit out or put one or more away. With all of the clothes, boxes, shoes, and other things we put on the closet shelf, there is no room in there for people. Okay let me tell you this. When I was young, and my cousin was just starting to develop breasts, my other cousin looked at her and said "...something's showing." She looked down at her breasts and said, "oh so what." That is taking pride in who you are, and the physical developments that come with being who she is. The Times They Are A Changing.

I realize that not everybody has the confidence to be who they are, and that means they should just be themselves in private, because somebody may call them a bad name, beat them up, or even kill them. I have never had any such fear. I have had people go so far as to threaten me, but have never carried it out. I remember reading about TS that have been killed, and all I can say is; that to avoid any kind of retaliation of this kind by bullies, you MUST FIRST be honest with yourself, and honest with anyone else who may not accept us as we are. I have had relationship after relationship, and I always told them who I was but I had not yet had my surgeries all the way to be the physical female I need to be. All they would say is "cool baby" and leave, or tell me that's fine and they didn't care. The Times They Are A Changing.

I am 60 years old now going on 61, and I have never had the type of conflict that I see in TG/TS stories that are written by others. I had some conflict back in the early 60's but I was able to overcome that conflict easy because I had friends who were there for me. The Times They Are A Changing.

So, if we are going to be a community, if we are going to live as ourselves, and not how others say we should, then we have to first open that closet door, and step out. Take a deep breath, and just look in the mirror like in Princess Diaries and say "well, this is as good it is going to get, Fat Louie." We must be proud of ourselves and once we have that pride we can gain the confidence necessary to be us openly. The shrinking violets in the TG/TS community would be surprised at how little confidence is really needed to be the woman (or man for F2M) we truly are. The Times They Are A Changing.

I live in a small town, and while I am not the only TS here, I am the only open one. The reason I can be open and show people who I am is not only do I have the confidence to be me, but I am proud to be me, and I show that pride to the world everyday. Conflict??? NO! There are those that make threats, but usually when they are drunk and forget about it when they are sober. I have even put confict of this sort in my stories where the protagonist easily overcomes that conflict. This IS NOT overly optimistic or unrealistic, it is a sign of the times. Welcome to the 21st century people, and it is time to "come out, come out, whereever you are, and meet the young lady who fell from a star." The Times They Are A Changing.

Confidence is secondary to pride. We MUST FIRST be proud of who we are, and then the confidence comes as a chain reaction to that being proud. Even the turtle pokes its head out from its shell. So too MUST the TS community poke its head out from that stupid closet, smooth out your dress, or skirt, and walk with your head high and your back straight and not only show the world who you are, but always act like a lady in doing so. You get more respect that way. And while we have a long, long way to go yet, public attitudes are changing in our favor. Yes I read about the changing laws, and the beatings, and the killings, and all of the right wing religious nuts that would keep us locked up. But ladies, outside of that, public attitudes are changing in our favor. The Times They Are A Changing.

Pride: In who we are; Confidence: To be who we are; Stamina: To show the world who we are. Let's live for ourselves ladies, AND NOT someone else's view of who we should be because of a physical anomaly (sic). The Times They Are A Changing, and I cannot say this enough. The Times They Are A Changing.

Stay strong ladies, because it is in our strength that we can all heal.

Love & hugs,
Barbara

"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be,"

One more quote I like to use.

"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward." So move forward already.


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Reviewed by Regis Auffray 12/17/2010
Thank you for this honest and enlightening write, Barbie. Love, peace, and best wishes to you,

Regis



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