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CJ Heck

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Ouch! My Big Toe
by CJ Heck   
Rated "PG" by the Author.
     
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“We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing ...” ~George Bernard Shaw

... hmmm, guess that means, I'll never grow old. ~CJ

I can't think of anything that hurts worse than stubbing a toe. Well, that's not quite true . There is one thing worse -- stubbing a toe at MY age.

I don't know about you, but I hate wearing shoes -- always have. I think I spent my entire childhood in my bare feet. Well, that's not quite true . We did have some nasty winters in Ohio, and we even got snow, so knowing my parents, I'm sure I wore both shoes and boots all winter. But I'll bet when I came indoors, I kicked both shoes and boots off by the front door and that's where they stayed until I went outside again. I do know my childhood was spent with at least one, if not both big toes bandaged the entire summer.

Anyway, I'm getting myself all side-tracked here. This morning while I was sitting here writing, I heard the garbage truck next door and realized suddenly that we had forgotten to put the trash out by the road. It's warm out and, as usual, I was barefoot. Well, I ran out the front door, across the front porch, and down the steps to get to the trash barrels -- just one simple little thing -- and damn, I stubbed my big toe.

... I remember hearing somewhere that hopping around on one foot helps, you know, while you're waiting for the pain to subside. Not true . The truth is, hopping on one foot is something you can't help doing-- it's a reflex action, I think. Oh, and the hopping makes you say bad words, too. They come out all by themselves -- lots of them -- so that must be a reflex action, too. Then, shaking my head at my stupid clumsiness, and still swearing under my breath, I hobbled back up the steps, back across the porch and inside the front door -- and then hopped all the way through the house to the kitchen sink to rinse it off. The darn thing bled like a sun-of-a-gun ...

Now here I am, sixty-one, with a huge bandage on my big toe -- and two full trash barrels that will have to wait. I still can't believe I did that. Oh well, it's warm and I can wear my strappy sandals if I have to go out ... but if you see me somewhere and you dare to laugh, I'll punch you right in the nose.

I have to go. I left a trail of blood drops all the way from the sidewalk to my kitchen sink and, since I'm the grownup now, I have to clean it up. Geez-Louise, it looks like Hansel and Gretel were here and ...

 


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Reviewed on May 28, 2011
OW! I'm sorry; hope your toe feels better soon! NOT fun when you stump your toe! Worse is when you break it. I've never broken a toe yet, but I've come close a time or two ...

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Texas, Karen Lynn. :)

Reviewed by Mark Lichterman
Reviewed on May 28, 2011
Can't quite figure out if this is a funny or a sad story. Sounds funny, but then, "Ouch!" A bleeding and bandaged big toe and that ain't so funny. And having to hold two bags of trash over for another week, in the summer, yet... Well, that sure as hell isn't too funny, either.

So you learned a lesson: next week it's the old army combat boots for you, my lady.
Mark

Reviewed by John Bidwell
Reviewed on May 28, 2011
Oh my- condolences here.
I find it such a wonder being human. Concepts occur to me which can't have any basis in reality- yet they seem self evident.
Such as with the toe. Don't you feel as I do- by now...we should have met our stub the toe quota and thus it no longer happens?
Have I experienced my last stubbed toe?
Maybe along these lines- a few more might not be that bad. Then again- I can only say that because it didn't happen to me recently.
Best wishes,
John

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