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Mark M Lichterman

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Senior Sex
by Mark M Lichterman   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
Last edited: Friday, June 3, 2011
Posted: Friday, June 3, 2011

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Keep the Fix-O-Dent or Polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up where you’ll need a gynecologist to retrieve them.

                      Senior Sex

1.  Make sure your partner is actually in  the bed, and actually your partner.

2.. Set timer  for 3 minutes, in case you fall asleep in the  middle.

3. Set the  mood with lighting. Turn all the lights off because, let’s face it, you’re both old.

4. Put  911 on your speed dial before you begin because, let’s face it, you’re both old.

5. Keep repeating your partner’s name so you don’t forget it. Actually,  it would probably be best to keep thinking your partner’s name so you don’t forget it.

6. . Keep the  Fix-O-Dent or Polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up  where you’ll need a gynecologist to retrieve them.



7.. If the act should actually be compleated, have  an aspirin ready in case of a heart attack.


8.. Make whatever noise you want... so your partner will know you’re still alive.

9.. You never have to say, “I’m sorry,” because she didn’t really expect “it” to rise to the occasion anyway.

10. If “things” do work, leave well enough alone, don't even think about trying it  twice, at least for the next thirty days.

(I wrote this in large, bold type so you can read it)


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Reviewed by Janna Hill
Reviewed on August 25, 2011
Now thats just funny, no matter how old you are.
Janna

Reviewed by Joy Hale
Reviewed on July 7, 2011
I laughed until the tears rolled down my cheeks! Very clever, very real, but... oh, dear, I hope I can always remember his name! Loved it! You have your hand and mind on the reality of senior sex, Mark.

Joy L. Hale

Reviewed by Kathleen McDonald
Reviewed on June 23, 2011
that is so funny Markie

hug
Kathy

Reviewed by Patrick Granfors
Reviewed on June 11, 2011
11. Don't confuse the polygrip with the KY Jelly. Funny Stuff Mark. Patrick

Reviewed by Cynthia Borris
Reviewed on June 7, 2011
Mark,

You're so bad.

Cynthia

Reviewed by Elizabeth Parker
Reviewed on June 7, 2011
Too funny, Mark!

Reviewed by Laura Fall
Reviewed on June 4, 2011
So cute and hilarious indeed a great article Laura

Reviewed by Annabel Sheila
Reviewed on June 4, 2011
Hilarious!!!!!! Rolling around laughing....thanks Mark!

Your friend,
Anna

Reviewed by CJ Heck
Reviewed on June 4, 2011
This is hysterical, Mark!! Thank you for my morning laugh!!
Hmmmm, I wonder, is this an article based on "experience"? (giggle)
Hugs to you,
CJ

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