When we were little kids, the world was pretty simple. We didn't have to do much to get our needs met. All we needed to do was cry, and somebody would come and take care of us.
Most of us got away with this for a large portion of our young lives. It's easy to see this as a baby. You are hungry, your diapers are full, you're bored, you're scared, you're lonely. Any bad feeling or unwanted emotions caused us to cry until that bad emotion was changed our for a better one.
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Now, let's look at a fully functioning adult, living among other adults they aren't related to. They have the same initial process. They get hungry, bored, lonely, scared, etc. This causes them to want to "change their state" so they feel better.
But as an adult, they realize that they need to actually do something to make it happen. They've got to buy some food, or call up a friend, or go and meet somebody. They've got to complicated, uncertain action in order to get their needs met.
Here's the most crucial part. When they take action, they are interacting with other people that are not related to them, and have no obligation to give them anything.
That means a fully functioning adult has to interact with others in a "win-win" fashion. Meaning if they want something from somebody, either food, companionship or anything else, they've got to pay for it somehow. Either with currency, or their own emotions and presence and actions.
The trouble comes when we, as adults, apply the childhood model. We think all we need to do is cry out, and some magical parent will come and give us something.
Even if it's the government giving us welfare or free housing or free healthcare, somebody, somewhere has to pay for that.
Now, imagine if EVERYBODY in the entire world did that. Nobody made anything. Everybody just sat there and cried, hoping somebody, somewhere, would give them something for free.
Now, this isn't a rant against government welfare programs.
But what it is is an explanation of what it means to be fully adult. To realize that it's not a good strategy to expect something for nothing.
It may feel good to say things like, "I deserve money, I deserve love, I deserve to be famous." But in reality, the only way to get what you want, is to convince somebody to give it to you.
And the only way to do that, usually, is to give them something THEY want.
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