The Employment Application

Professor Penwose
With Helpful Hints for the Hindered

Good Evening.
The economy is about to shatter again so we may soon find ourselves looking for positions elsewhere. For some of you this is a frightening experience as it has been quite awhile since you went through the employment process. I’d like to take a moment to touch on a few details.

Things have not changed much. The main document is still the Employment Application, which sometimes includes a short test.

Never smile when you run across a question you are sure about. They will watch your face like a poker player looks for tells, and use that information against you at a latter date. They may invariably sashay into your work area. If they see you are NOT smiling they will know you do not know what you are doing.

One important item, both the application and the test are loaded with trick questions.

You can gain notoriety in your personal file for pointing out the trick questions, but do not be belligerent by saying things like, “Do you think I’m stupid?”

Of course they think you are stupid. They think All new employees are stupid. They would not give you the test if they did not think you are stupid. The test shows them just how stupid you are.

Merely state that you are aware of a trick question and point it out.
One of the most common is, “Do you have any previous experience?”

THAT is a trick question!…ALL experience is previous.

Penwose Out
By George