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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

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Sit Calm Idea
by By George xx xx   
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Clyde is in The Cubicles, an endless sea of 4x4 walls that go on forever.

My brain is always open for ideas…except when it’s raining.
My Sitcom, Sit Calm, deals with bizarre things such as the one I’m about to talk about.

For quite sometime I’ve been stymied, but I may have found an answer?

A scene much to my liking concerns the dysfunctional Mother, Gwen, at the work site of her equally dysfunctional husband, Clyde, trying to find him.

Earl, the redneck elevator operator, tells her Clyde is in The Cubicles, an endless sea of 4x4 walls that go on forever.
“Don’t worry, He took a ball of string with him and left a trail.”
“I’m not walking in there following a stupid ball of string.”
“Then give it a little tug and he’ll come out.”
She tugs, nothing happens, tugs again, same result.
“Give it a good hard yank!”
She yanks, “That worked, it broke loose.”
She eventually she’s seen standing with a broken end in hand.
Earl, “Oh, Diddly…we’ve lost him forever.”
“Don’t you have a phone around here?”
“All I have is this,” he hands her an enlarged army walkie-talkie.
“That’s your cell phone?”
“I got it at the army surplus store. It’s from World War II.”
She starts to call but…
“Someone is talking?”
“Yeah, sometimes it picks up World War II chatter.”
She listens…

This is the part that stymied me. I was looking for an emergency battle condition that required a need for help. It had to be humorous.
Here’s what I’ve come up with…

She listens…
“I’m outta ammo, Moe”
Another voice, “We need more ammo, Moe!”
Voice 3, “Moe’s dead.”
“Moe’s dead?”
“In the shed.”
“In the shed?”
“Shot in the head.”
“Moe’s dead, in the shed, shot in the head?”
“That’s what I said.”
“We need more ammo, Joe!”
Gwen tired of waiting, “Will you please get off the line, I’m trying to talk to my husband.”




Web Site: Encephalon Epitaph


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Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on June 20, 2018
That one was so exciting, I almost went to bed. Wasn't sitting calm, more like dead. Had no ammo, since Moe's been shot in the head.

Ron

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