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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

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I was NOT prepared for this.

28 JUN 2018

THE WACKY WORLD OF GEORGE
Day 25,870.75

Dunkin’ Dunking
Today my world was upset…literally topsy-turvy.
During the time I stood next in line at Dunkin Doughnuts, as I do every Thursday before food shopping, my mind sort of wandered. I need not think of my order because it was always the same, plain bagel with cream cheese, a large caramel coffee with cream, and a senior discount…$4.46…If it ever came up different I knew THEY did something wrong.

There were two cash registers. Only the right one was being used,(Not a choice between right and wrong.) A gentleman standing in the coffee area asked for my order.
This was NOT NORMAL.
“Huh?”
“I’ll get your beverage started over here, you’ll still ring up over there.”
I moved toward him dazed and confused. My regimented order had been disrupted. My mind seemed to unwind. I stuttered and stammered and stuttered again. I did not know how to reply. He only wanted my coffee order but that was second on my list and he did not want what was first which was the bagel with cream cheese. I had to somehow delete it temporarily.
I gave it a shot, “A large caramel coffee with cream.”
I did it! I was so pleased with myself. If I were younger a gold star would be glued on my head.
“We’re out of caramel.”
“What?”
“We’re out of…”
“I mean What like in surprise, not what did you say.”
Now my head was really spinning, not only had my regimented regimen been disrupted but my ordinary order was out of order. I had to make another choice. I was not prepared for this.

I asked for other options. As he ran down the list I tried to listen but the lady ahead of me at the register had left and I had to hop over there or lose my spot. I heard French Vanilla and jumped on it!

“Can I help you?” asked the cashier.

Now I had to give my order the normal way.
“I’ll have a plain bagel with cream cheese, and a large cara…ah, French Vanilla coffee with cream.”

Once again I was pleased with myself, Oh, No!!…I forgot to tell her of my senior discount. The register was humming, bells were ringing, and the total popped up on the screen…$4.46.

“You got my senior discount. You done good!”

She smiled.

There is a sign on their credit card reader which I never read because I know it says they have no chip reader. I began to swipe my card.

“No, No,” said she, “We have a chip reader.”

“You never did before?”

“We just got it Today…see the sign?”

“Yes, I thought that was the sign that said you have no chip reader.”

“No, that’s the new sign that says we have a chip reader. It keeps falling off.”

I tried to put my card in the chip reader and the sign fell off, “I see what you mean.”

After I enjoyed my bagel and coffee I went across the street to the Walmart Neighborhood Market where I food shop. Road construction has made that a task but I planned well.

For the 7th week in a row they have no 12 egg cartons. What am I going to do with 18 eggs? They always ask if I found everything I was looking for, but apparently don’t care or they would have eggs by the dozen long ago.

The hell with them, I’m eating bagels this week.

An old fart and his wife were ahead of me in the check out line. She looked into my cart, looked up at me like I was crazy, then back in my cart.
I heard her whisper to her husband, “He’s in line but he isn’t buying anything? He has an empty cart?”

He mumbled something and pointed to the belt where I had placed my provisions.

She looked at the belt, “Oh!”…then sorrowfully smiled at me.

I rolled my eyes.

That’s the way my day has gone so far. Everything happened exactly as stated. I’m home now so things should mellow out.

Cheers.
Bye George
NoPo8

 

Web Site: Encephalon Epitaph


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Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on June 29, 2018
These days can be pretty un-mellow with all the changing hurdles we have to jump. I'm being continually asked for my mobile phone number. They want to text me. I have none and don't do either.

Also, if I go to a place like Dunkin' Donuts, as I stand in the line and look at the options, I still have a hard time ordering unless it's just, "A black coffee and donut." You see I can't recall the last time I was in a Dunkin' Donuts, so just ordering is an exercise in multiple choices.

Bye Ron

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