Professor Ambrose Penwose, Kiwi
Fourth of July extended version
HAPPY 4th OF JULY
The following is my quintessential annual offering…
HE THAT GOES FORTH WITH A FIFTH ON THE 4TH…
MAY NOT GO FORTH ON THE 5TH.
The 4th of July is very important to Americans. Without it we would all be British, and I would like to say that if I were to live on an island I’d rather it be Hawaii.
They used to say the sun never sets on the British Empire. Well then how did Jack The Ripper always escape under cover of darkness?
The following, not written by me, yet spoken by many, inspired me to proceed further on my own.
Bartender, I’ll have another one. I’ve finished the other one.
When the fellow sitting between the two on either side of me finishes his beer, I suggest you cut him off.
If the fellow behind me finishes first I may have had enough already.
Those little ditties sound like something that would work well on St. Patrick’s Day. Don’t be surprised if you hear them again.
We always assume that a person coming from the east is walking west, and one walking from the south is headed north, however maybe the reverse is just the opposite?
Anybody who walks a mile in my shoes…can keep them.
Never do what I did…I once said to my X wife, "Penny for your thoughts?"
It was the worst penny I ever spent.
Stories Worth Wiping Your A** With
Whether you're making a deposit at the stank bank, dropping a return at the squat shop, or conducting a brown business meeting, these perfectly timed tales provide the literary fragrance your privacy deserves. F
Homer's Ill Iliad & Odd Sea Odyssey (420 pages) is an adult satire/parody rewrite of the classic stories of the 10 year Trojan War and of the 10 year adventure of Odysseus trying to return home to his native Ithaca.
Fractured Frazzled Folk Fables and Fairy Farces is adult literature that satirizes famous children's stories, fables and fairy tales. The work is Jay Dubya's twenty-first e-book available in Amazon Kindle and Barnes and Noble Nook.
