Back or forward?

Dream On
I was just thinking…wouldn’t it be nice if time machines were fact instead of fiction. We could jump in them and have wondrous adventures in the past and future. Marriages would be saved. If we forgot something at the store we could go back and fetch it before our wives ever knew. If we wanted to know which horse would win we could go to the future and find out, and once again avoid beatings by our wives for betting on losers, which she says she did.
And what about flying carpets? Imagine how nice it would be to fly around town gliding over hill and dale, going anywhere our hearts desired. The world would be enchanting.
What a shame these two magical mystical marvels do not exist. Maybe we can start working on them?

Professor Penwose here…
George is a dreamer. I am a realist. We list things that are real. George lists things that are not. He is a notlist. By Jove I may have invented a new word? On second thought it sounds stupid. How about notilus? No that makes him sound like a submarine. And although he is a dreamer we do not want to put him in the same class as Jules Verne. I’ll work on that one.
As realists we must remember that all things are relative due to a famous theory of relativity…If you never had any relatives, they don’t have any either.

High pathetical situation…
If you have relatives ask them this…
Note…If you have no relatives you cannot participate in this hypothesis for it is based on relativity.
If they had a time machine which way would they beam, back to the past or forward to the future?
For those who see this going nowhere please allow me to say we have only begun to begin.
I am about to disclose facts that will clear up all apprehensions of time travel. You may wish to take notes.
Initially we must presume going to the past is quite possible providing the proper mode of transportation is provided. The past is real. It has happened. It is behind us somewhere, therefore it can be returned to.
The future is completely out of the equation. Forget about it. The future has not happened yet. There is nothing there to go to.
Therefore, based on that hypothesis, another high pathetical situation
must be dealt with.
We have determined that time travel to the future is not possible.
Therefore, if we were to go to the past, we would get there from “their future,” which we already have determined is unfeasible.
Remember, everything is relative. If we cannot travel to the future from our time because it has not happened yet, we cannot appear in their time from their future which has not happened yet.
We would find we do not exist.

Doctor Swigmon Fwad here,
Allow me to interject.
These conjectures and speculations should not be taken seriously, I’m serious.
As a psycho analysist I and my psycho colleagues are quite aware that there is a thin line between fruit and fruity, and something here is a little too ripe.
Apparently that young whippersnapper’s whipper has snapped.
The cuckoo’s nest seems a bit bustling.
I see a Lobotomy in his future, which hasn’t happened yet but soon to be in his past.

Penwose & Swigmon Out,

George back!
Final unrelated note…I was visiting Dictionary.com. Their Word For The Day was Garbology, defined as the study of the material discarded by a society to learn what it reveals about social or cultural patterns.
Are you kidding Me???
That little ol bag lady is actually a Garbologist?

Cheers,
Bye George
NoPo8