My fingers are crossed.

Professor Ambrose Penwose, Kiwi

Good Evening,

I started drinking coffee while abroad in the service of The Queen.
Do not be confused, I was not a broad, I was abroad.
The sun never set in those days and proper sleep was rather less than adequate to obtain so a hefty shot of caffeine was necessary each morning to begin the beguine so to speak. I found my routine regimental regimen distasteful to pompous tea-totalers, which was quite far from caring on my part
The regimental regiment, which was actually a light brigade, hit a low spot at Balaclava, and annihilated completely except for a fellow who seemed super human due to a second cup of coffee that morning. You may have already guessed that fellow was me?
How old do you think I am? That event happened in the mid 1800s. My grandfather was the final fellow. He passed the coffee regimen to his son, (my father) who passed it on to me, (his son.) Besides I would never ride less than a heavy horse.
The Light Brigade was wiped out but the routine regimental coffee regimen lives on.
Which brings us to present day…
I have no time for brewing bean beverages so my coffee comes from a jar labeled instant. I have found that to be quite far from the truth as a three minute course of time in the microwave is essential. I have found an instant to be the period of time which has passed since I began it. Three minutes is hardly an instant.
Lately alarming transformations have been transforming. The three minute microwave regimen has been compromised.
I have studied the situation and found that during winter months the three minute setting is still stable. Everything is fine. The coffee is superb and the regimen regular.
However, the hot summer months are quite different. In years past I have discovered the three minute setting beyond satisfactory. The coffee will actually boil over to the point of spilling over. Not only does this create a mess but it robs me of a full cup.
To compensate I have reduced the summer time to two and a half minutes. This setting has proved to be sufficient. The coffee is heated satisfactorily without boiling over.
I do not know what causes the differential. Maybe it is the added heat of summer? Maybe the water in the pipes is heated, even though I let it run for awhile. Maybe it’s the barometric pressure, which I know nothing about? The fact remains things are changing.
This year I used the 3 minute setting as long as possible. When it boiled over I reduced it. That worked for a little while.
Now it boils over at two and a half minutes, which has never happened before?
I reduced it further. That worked for a little while.
Now it boils over at two minutes and twenty seconds.
I reduced it further.
This morning I set it at two minutes and fifteen seconds. So far so good. My fingers are crossed.
Obviously I’ve been working on a theory to explain the sudden fluctuations. I’ve gone through every variance equation and quantum calculation to find an answer.
There is only one logical explanation and I hope the two minute and fifteen seconds time frame holds up, otherwise it is worse than I theorized.
We are drifting closer to The Sun.

Penwose Out,
Bye George
NoPo8