AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Donald Beaulieu, iMargaret Mullings, iJohn Burns, iWilliam Martell, iH.G. Potter, iJ. Allen Wilson, iGracie McKeever, iDr. Patrick ODougherty, iJohn Henning, iDave Tabler, i

  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Success story
· Books
· Articles
· News
· Blog
· Messages
· 622 Titles
· 377 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Before 2003

   newsletter

Subscribe to the By George xx xx Newsletter. Enter your name and email below and click "sign me up!"
Name:
Email:
By George xx xx, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen!

Books by
By George xx xx



See all Books
by By George xx xx


SAVINGS
by By George xx xx   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
Recent articles by
By George xx xx

• Shot/No Shot
• Mutant
• Spark Plug
• That's Life!
• Power Outage
           >> View all

Remember good comfort and stability starts in the mind.

23 JUL 2018
THE SECRET OF WEALTH

Professor Ambrose Penwose, Kiwi

Good evening,

Previously I wrote of a topic I am about to write on now, however my manuscript seems to have vanished and my powers of reminiscence is far from recollectable. I seem to have forgotten to remember. I’ll have to wing it.
Financial security for some of us is a fragility and even a luxury we enjoy on a daily basis as we sit and watch our monies grow. For others the reverse is just the opposite, and vice versa.

The foundation of a good financial structure is a strong foot into savings, which need not be begun years before as falsely and deceitfully reported by high price low life advisors.
I will tell you how to quickly build your savings to Happy Heights.

Yesterday a gentleman on the tele told us we can save hundreds of dollars if we rush to his car lot.
Another said we can save hundreds on an insurance policy.
Yet another said we could save substantially on a coffin, which I’m not about to get into until I’m ready to do so.
There was even a guy who said we could save on a frying pan and even get two if we waited and acted quickly, which is actually a scam. I found out the hard way you never get the second frying pan. Think about it, you cannot act quickly if you wait.

I got news for ya! I saved a bundle yesterday.
First the guy who said I could save hundreds if I bought a car.
I did NOT buy a car and saved thousands!
I also saved thousands by not buying an insurance policy, a coffin, or a frying pan.
All in all yesterday I saved $25,492.53…and I didn’t do a thing.

Do you need quick savings?
Don’t buy a house!
Do you need big quick savings?
Don’t buy a big house.

Whenever you need savings, don’t buy something.
The larger the commodity you don’t buy the larger your savings will be. That is a fact!

Remember good comfort and stability starts in the mind.

Tell ya what I’ll do…
Today Only Special. This article is on sale for $25.00.

Don’t buy it.

See there, you just saved 25 quid!

No need to thank me.

Penwose Out,
Bye George
NoPo8

Web Site: Encephalon Epitaph


Want to review or comment on this article?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on July 24, 2018
A good friend once proclaimed, "My wife saved us $5000 last year. She spent only $35,000 doing it." That's why I don't have a wife. And don't have any one to blame for saving money by spending.

A worst scenario are those who claim that they won a jackpot on a slot machine for say, $1500. They never say that they spent $3500 dropping coins into that one one arm bandit before getting that jackpot.

I am running a race. Who will win, me or my money. I would sure hate to run out of funds before I die and be put in a poorhouse. Worse yet, spend my last days in a debtors' prison!

And that's the truth… Bye George!

Ron

Reviewed by Eva Pasco
Reviewed on July 24, 2018
Oftentimes we're saving money we didn't have to begin with. It's semantics.

Popular Humor Articles
  1.  Crash Dummies
  2.  Penny Power
  3.  Pedicure and Chicken
  4.  Beware the Tsundoku!
  5.  Snow White Trailer Trash Talk
  6.  How to Survive Bean Soup, The Game.
  7.  Poetry Submission
  8.  Losing Ticket
  9.  Shot/No Shot
  10.  Dilatation of Closed Phrenix Confabula
  11.  Kaltenheiss's famed Katya im Boxer qua
  12.  Getting Old In The Real World
  13.  Precedent Linkin's Gettysberg A Dress
  14.  More GFI
  15.  Breaking Bad meets Star Trek and Pies
  16.  Imminent Danger
  17.  The Left-Handed Heart
  18.  The Great Turtle Stampede
  19.  Toughest Million
  20.  Spark Plug
  21.  Battle of the Bulge: Jesus Hates Speed
  22.  My colonoscopy 3/20/14 – I have to tel
  23.  Problem Solving, Or The Day My Septic
  24.  Segments from a Bifurcated Life
  25.  NEW KEYBOARD

Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

A Relief of Doodie: Shtty Stories to Read on the Pot by Jay Horne

Stories Worth Wiping Your A** With Whether you're making a deposit at the stank bank, dropping a return at the squat shop, or conducting a brown business meeting, these perfectly timed tales provide the literary fragrance your privacy deserves. F  
Member BookAds

The Wholly Book of Doo-Doo-Rot-on-Me by Jay Dubya

The Wholly Book of Doo-Doo-Rot-on-Me is adult satirical humor featuring adult language and adult content, and the work is a parody of the Old Testament Book of Deuteronomy.  
Member BookAds

The Council by T. Weber

A naïve councilman and a down-on-her-luck single mom try to save their county’s last stand of forest from greedy developers and a dysfunctional government.  
Member BookAds