Little known nature fact…All wild rabbits are white…until they go into the woods.
Professor Penwose, Kiwi
A fortnight ago, give or take a day or two…
Note, I really do not know what a fortnight is? It’s an expression we pompous people use actually, to showoff our pomp.
Anyway, sometime ago I was having a mug in a pub with my colleagues and my communicator went off.
It seemed my Xwife walked off and they wondered if I saw her as she wandered? I wondered why they would ask me and they said she kept repeating that she missed me.
I reminded them she was referring to the time she took a shot at me.
My communicator went off again. This time because it was off.
I informed my mates my Xwife had escaped again and we saw that as a good excuse for another mug. We cheered her with a few Hip Hips!
Eight hours later my communicator went off again. This time when it went off it went on.
A local constable called to inform me my Xwife had been apprehended at the city zoo. Apparently she had gone to the bear enclosure with a twelve pack of toilet tissue and was nabbed as she threw rolls to the bears.
Their habitat looked like a house on Halloween.
They say she became disturbed after seeing a family of Blue Bears on the tele with the wrong toilet paper.
I told the constable there was no cause for concern as she was already disturbed, that’s why she was in the asylum.
I informed my colleagues of the event and we cheered her again with another round. We are slow drinkers and the news came just as we were finishing the mug from the previous communiqué.
A video of her popped up on the news and we had to quickly chug down our brews so we could have another in honor of her on the tele.
Looking back on it all it is no wonder the commercial set her off.
How many of you have ever seen a bear going into the woods?
How many of you have ever seen a bear going into the woods with a roll of toilet paper?
I got news for ya…Bears don’t use toilet paper! They just grab a rabbit.
Little known nature fact…All wild rabbits are white…until they go into the woods.
Reading 'Bears and X-Wife' is the first unforced chuckle I've had in a while. I must also admit that the sight of cartoonish blue-furred bears instructing each other in the proper use of 'Papier hygiénique' (I use this term because I don't speak French, but feel the need to impress people, nonetheless) as we see it on television incites me to near addlepation. It would appear that your ex-wife perhaps felt similarly outraged. By the way, thanks to your revelation, now we know exactly what Elmer Fudd was REALLY up to when he cautioned the viewing audience in those wonderful old Warner Brothers cartoons, "Be vewy, vewy quiet! We're hunting wabbits!" It gives a whole next context to the phrase 'Wiping out rabbits!' =)
Two weeks ago or a fortnight, a bare went into the woods without toilet paper. When he came out, "All the leaves were brown, on a summer's day." You just have to ask your ex what it was like in the zoo, to play.
A humorous look at the world and life through my eyes.
Follow the author and his wife, as they travel the world …. several times over.
Laugh at their funny stories, self-inflicted crazy events, strange observations, wacky zoo facts and snippets
Bye, George,
Ron