I think this is legitimate. Anyone else want in?

Professor Penwose, Kiwi

I’ve just received somewhat of a disturbing correspondence?

As many of you are probably aware Santa Claus presumably lives at the North Pole. Why he would want to live there I will never know.

For years children have been sending him letters and even knocking on my door begging for postage in misguided attempts to get toys and other “things.” I see it all as a bit of mass controlled hysteria and sit by the tele watching obvious reruns of A Christmas Carol remakes and wondering if Scrooge didn’t have the right idea after all.

Whoa is me as I gaze out the window at the UPS truck stopping in front of my house and wondering what wonderful gifts he will be leaving at my door only to see it drive off leaving me with nothing, as he only stopped to check his load. They do that to me all the time.

I must confess that as a child I acted as a child and sent off numerous messages to the jolly fat man of the north with no evident advantage. My stockings tended to hang from the fireplace with no blessings from the letters whatsoever other than the protrusions where my toes peaked through, darn it.

The daily afternoon walk to the mail box is hazardous at best during these days of ice covered walkways and slippy streets. If anyone fell they could sue me. Someone should shovel my sidewalk, but certainly not I.

GREAT GOOGLIE MOOGLIE…I GOT A LETTER FROM SANTA!
Can you believe it? I Can’t!

An actual letter written by Santa himself and the envelope sealed shut by a lick from Rudolph. Oh the Joy to the World!

According to the letter, Jolly Old Saint Nick, came upon a treasure trove of treasure in a chest of gold one day, while taking his reindeer out to poop, which had apparently surfaced due to glacier meltdown due to global warming due to things we are thoughtlessly doing.

I hadn’t given it a thought, but now the matter shines in a whole new light and sparkles justifiably with a definite distinct opportunity to show a profit. Santa is willing to include me in the profit sharing, which I am willing to include me in as well.

All that is required of me is to remit few thousand quid to serve as an act of good faith.

It seems I am being scammed by Santa.

One question I must ask…How did he get my name and address?
Does he have one of those new info hacker scanners I’ve been hearing about?
Wait a minute, the song, “He sees you when you’re sleeping…He knows when you’re awake,” Of course he would have to know where you live.

I think this is legitimate. Anyone else want in?
This could be the Merriest Christmas of all!

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8