Start a new life.

Professor Penwose, Kiwi

Have you ever considered witness protection?
What a wonderful program! It sounds delightful. You abscond from your daily dull duties and they whisk you away to some far off obscure unknown place where you start a new life and keep a low profile living in luxury with everything handed to you, including your food and refreshments which come to your back door in plain brown bags.

Note: I should think if I were a neighbor I might consider this back door thing a bit suspicious? I also find the brown bags repulsive to a gentleman of my caliber, but I suppose that would be something we are trying to get away from.

I’ll be a recluse on the loose.
An extra added dividend is nobody can steal my identity because I’ll have none.

Drawbacks…I’ll have to answer the door with a bag over my head or a mask at the very least, unless I’ve had my face altered, which could only be less attractive, so I will not go in that direction.

I understand I can have no contact with family.
The only family I have is my xwife by marriage, and I do not consider no contact with her a drawback.

Everything looks good to me!

There is only one problem…I have witnessed nothing.
I wonder if that problem will be a problem?
I’ve called in on jaywalkers, sheep abusers, and garbage thieves, but The Yard threatens to arrest Me?
My entire life revolves around boring law-abiding citizens.
I may have to infiltrate the mob?

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8