AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Rochelle Brandon, iValerie Boggess, iGracie McKeever, iSergio Serrano, Ph.D., iJennifer Miller, iBruce Humphrey, iJudith Bailey, iShannon MacLeod, iGlen Schulz, iJames Hill, i

  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Success story
· Books
· Articles
· News
· Blog
· Messages
· 622 Titles
· 377 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Before 2003

   newsletter

Subscribe to the By George xx xx Newsletter. Enter your name and email below and click "sign me up!"
Name:
Email:
By George xx xx, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen!

Books by
By George xx xx



See all Books
by By George xx xx


Goldilocks
by By George xx xx   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
Recent articles by
By George xx xx

• Shot/No Shot
• Mutant
• Spark Plug
• That's Life!
• Power Outage
           >> View all

My Xwife's roommate.

Professor Ambrose Penwose, Kiwi

Good Evening,

Goldilocks is my Xwife’s cell…er roommate. She cannot get over The Bear Incident. She keeps saying her bed is too hard or too soft, and her porridge is too hot or too cold. She also says the walls are too soft, but they’re all like that.
She lies awake all night complaining she can’t fall asleep.
Gwendolyn, (My X) told her, “Why don’t you go visit Bo Peep and count sheep?”
She tried that but says the sheep won’t listen to her, and she keeps losing count.
She was doing fine until she saw herself in a Children’s Picture Book and it all came back to her. Apparently The Bears were dreadful. They took her to court and charged her with Breaking and Entering, Destruction of Private Property, and Food Gobbling.
She pleaded Innocent by Reason of Insanity and they put her in with my crazy X. I’m sure that will remove any doubts.
They walk around the halls together tipped to one side, telling anyone who will listen, “We’re Unbalanced!”
It smells like they’re living in a shoe.
Superman is just down the hall and he keeps trying to fly out of there. He said he’d take Goldi with him but she said his muscles are too hard, or too soft when he’s Clark.
All the coo-coos are in the nest.

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8


Want to review or comment on this article?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Popular Humor Articles
  1.  Crash Dummies
  2.  Penny Power
  3.  Pedicure and Chicken
  4.  Beware the Tsundoku!
  5.  Snow White Trailer Trash Talk
  6.  How to Survive Bean Soup, The Game.
  7.  Poetry Submission
  8.  Losing Ticket
  9.  Shot/No Shot
  10.  Dilatation of Closed Phrenix Confabula
  11.  Kaltenheiss's famed Katya im Boxer qua
  12.  Getting Old In The Real World
  13.  Precedent Linkin's Gettysberg A Dress
  14.  More GFI
  15.  Breaking Bad meets Star Trek and Pies
  16.  Imminent Danger
  17.  The Left-Handed Heart
  18.  The Great Turtle Stampede
  19.  Toughest Million
  20.  Spark Plug
  21.  Battle of the Bulge: Jesus Hates Speed
  22.  My colonoscopy 3/20/14 – I have to tel
  23.  Problem Solving, Or The Day My Septic
  24.  Segments from a Bifurcated Life
  25.  NEW KEYBOARD

Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Blöd Ties by Ian Thorpe

Blod Ties - Fantasy, Romance. Romantasy? A bit of whimsy for the weekend. A naive British tourist John Gormley takes a holiday in the ancient, remote kingdom of Perarboria. He does not suspect that his holiday love affair with a local beauty is desti  
Member BookAds

Shakespeare: Slammed, Smeared, Savaged and Slaughtered by Jay Dubya

Shakespeare: Slammed, Smeared, Savaged and Slaughtered (Part I) is adult literature featuring adult content and language.  
Member BookAds

A Relief of Doodie: Shtty Stories to Read on the Pot by Jay Horne

Stories Worth Wiping Your A** With Whether you're making a deposit at the stank bank, dropping a return at the squat shop, or conducting a brown business meeting, these perfectly timed tales provide the literary fragrance your privacy deserves. F  
Member BookAds