Another new study

Professor Penwose, Kiwi
Do not tell Hinkly Dinkly I stole this news item

Headline
EGGS MAY BE BAD FOR THE HEART, A NEW STUDY SAYS

Earth…Eggs are a staple of American breakfasts, but they’re a highly controversial food. Are they healthy or not? Do they raise cholesterol? Should you eat only the egg whites, or opt for yolks?

Whether dietary cholesterol is associated with cardiovascular disease or death has been debated for decades. Positive, negative and [neutral] associations have been reported.

One study from last year found that people who ate an egg per day had lower rates of heart disease and bleeding stroke than people who did not eat them.

Some researchers have suggested that links between egg consumption and health problems can largely be explained by the lifestyles of heavy egg eaters, since they may also be more likely to eat foods that are unhealthy for the heart and less likely to exercise regularly.
We suggest that Heavy is a nice way of saying FAT.

Researchers say, if 1,000 people ate an extra half-egg per day, they estimate that 11 more people than normal would develop heart disease, and 19 more people than normal would die in the next 30 years.

I ask, How many is normal?

I eat two eggs per day, which according to THEM, puts me way up in the, “Get Ready to Die,” category…but I throw away one of the yolks, which gives me more time, but still ahead of the 19 people who will die in the next 30 years. I wish they would have published their names so I could see if I know any of them?

Tell you what I’m gonna do…Today I will start an egg research study of my own. If I live for 30 years, that would make me over a hundred…and prove that eggs are safe.

I probably will not even remember who/whom I am by then, let alone the study, so one of you will have to call and see if I’m still alive, unless of course you eat eggs too and we’re all dead, in which case eggs are proven not safe and should be replaced with bacon or waffles, thirty years previously, which is now.

If I do not answer the phone it does not necessarily mean that I am dead…let it ring for awhile.

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8