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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

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BRIBES
by By George xx xx   
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Bribes are nothing new.

Professor Penwose, Kiwi

I just applied for a Reverse Bankruptcy. Its like a Reverse Mortgage only different.
They say they will give me money based on the monies I already owe and I can use that money to pay off the monies I already owe and I won't have to pay off the money they’re giving me with the Reverse Bankruptcy until I take out another loan.
It’s rather complicated but a dollar in my hand is like two in the bushes, so they say. The bushes I search yield nothing but birds but I probe on like a gold miner.

Speaking of bribes. I can honestly say I have never taken a bribe in my life…Not that I wouldn’t like to.

The truth is nobody ever offered me one. I don’t know why not? I try to get one, or two…actually one good bribe is all I need to get out of this miserable meager existence.

Parents save their whole lives for their child’s education and they won’t even give me a few thousand bucks for one little bribe.
I can be bought! I’m not proud. I can get their kid enrolled in anything they want, but I’m not going to do it for free… I will do anything to help their children get a good education…for a price.

I am not beyond bribe solicitation. Subtle hints are dropped around campus. The blackboard in my classroom says, “Want a good grade, Lets make a deal!” I send out flyers, I post signs, I wear “I take Bribes,” T-shirts, all for not.

Bribes are nothing new and need not be frowned upon. We’ve been dealing with them throughout our lives. The dictionary says a bribe is anything given or serving to persuade or induce: The children were given candy as a bribe to be good. Well, it seems I HAVE taken bribes in the past, although the results were fruitless.

Bribes are gratuities where services are yet to be rendered. Those taking gratuities are actually taking Reverse Bribes. We do not look down on them.

My colleagues drive expensive cars and live in luxury from bribes, while I do not. They live The High Life while I must apply for Reverse Bankruptcies.

Our education system needs to be fixed.

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8


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Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on March 27, 2019
I agree with everything you wrote. But with one further note. In order to fix our education system we need to allow sexual favors. And I'm not discounting males or transsexuals or whatever you want to call yourself. If you offer me sexual favors, I will elevate you to the highest position possible. BTW, a little cash along the way in the form of bribery, won't hurt either. I'm strapped for cash like George.

Bye, George,

Ron

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