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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

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Friendship is...

Professor Ambrose Penwose, Kiwi

The bags under my eyes are so big I can almost carry home groceries.

I try not to be perfect, an aspiration more easily achieved than the other way around.
If I was what I tried to be, I wouldn’t be, and if I was not, I was, which means I shouldn’t be.

Friendship, C.S. Lewis believed, “like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself … has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”

A friend of mine is really paranoid. Every time a girl looks at me, he thinks she’s looking at him.

He’s also gullible. He was complaining about his new car, “I was supposed to get the complete package with all the bells and whistles…but all I can hear is the horn?”
I asked if it was one of those that drives itself. He said he really didn’t know. I told him all he had to do to find out is get up on the interstate and let go of the steering wheel. He asked me to go with him. I told him no. He found out all by himself.
Visiting hours are 9-5.
I hope his nurses don’t flirt with me.

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8


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