CAN’T BEAR MY BIG TOE
The story about the bear is Not Real. I made it up. This one is!
It was quite a hike, 4 miles each way. I did not see a single person the entire day. Good thing I didn’t run into a bear. I heard something on another ridge that sounded like a mountain lion. I did have a walking stick to fend it off.
The shoes I wore were ok if my toe nails were not to long, but they were. My big toes stuck out about a quarter inch. About halfway into the hike my big toe on the right foot started hurting and kept getting worse. When I finally got back to the cabin and took my shoe off the nail was purple and hurting bad.
I told the girl at the front desk I’d give ten bucks to whoever would trim the nail. She said she didn’t know of anybody.
As I sat in a chair waiting for the restaurant to open I started talking to a ditsy blond who worked in the office. They had a package delivered there addressed to “Canyon Bunker.” She was asking folks if their name was Canyon? Her last name was Bunker.
I asked if her first name was Edith? She didn’t know what I meant? I said it was probably for her since she worked in the office.
Another girl said to open it and see?
Another said if it was not for her she could go to jail.
I said, “Just tell them Vegas George said to open it!”
She opened it!
Nobody knew what it was?
She went around trying to find the owner. I sat in the chair. About ten minutes later the girl from the front text came over and asked me, “You said ten bucks for trimming your nail right?”
“Right!”
“I found someone who will do it!”
“Great!”
It was Canyon Bunker, the ditsy blond.”
She came over with nail clippers but my nails are hard to clip and she struggled. Finally she clipped off a big clump and said, “OH My God, Your toe is bleeding!”
Blood was running all over the place. The girl from the desk said, “We need to sanitize that chair! Don’t let anymore blood out! Stop the bleeding and wrap it with this tape!”
She stopped the bleeding and wrapped it with the tape, mostly to keep the nail on. It looked like it had come off.
Suddenly I was BMOC! Everybody was asking how my toe was.
Now I’m back in Vegas and the tape is slowly unraveling. I can’t reach it so there’s nothing I can do. I hope the nail reattaches?
You had me wondering why you couldn't clip your own nails until I read the part where you were too fat to reach them. I've had someone clip my nails forever and it only hurts when they get into the flesh that it bleeds… Bleed out! Oh the horror! But I've never heard of cutting too close resulting in losing a nail. Rejoice! The nail will regenerate in a year or two and become as good as new.
You’d better watch out from that girl from the front text. She'd be writing down everything she told you. ;-) What's in the box! A cliffhanger?
The Wholly Book of Genesis is a humorous satire on the first book of the Old Testament where the Story of Creation, the building of Noah's Ark, Sodom and Gomorrah and the families of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob are thoroughly spoofed and broadsided.
You’d better watch out from that girl from the front text. She'd be writing down everything she told you. ;-) What's in the box! A cliffhanger?
Bye, George,
Ron