March of Time Has Single Fearing She’s out of Step
Published in The London Free Press
Thursday, October 31, 2002

Dear Christine,

I just turned 30, and although I’ve always enjoyed being “single in the city”, I am now experiencing more loneliness than enjoyment.

My friends are either married, having kids, or both. What am I to do now?

The minutes seem to blur into hours, and the hours into days. I’ve never felt this abandoned before. What should I do? Where can I find someone, like myself, who is looking to share their life?

- LONELY IN LONDON

Dear Lonely,

The first thing you should know is that you are not alone in your new-found feelings of loneliness. Turning 30 is a milestone. But it does not have to be a negative one.

Just because all of your friends are marrying and producing offspring does not mean that you are forced to do the same. “If your friends all jump off a bridge…?”

Secondly, the something that you are suddenly missing may not be something that can be found in another person. It may be something within yourself that is lacking: career, hobbies, new friends, social events, etc.

And last, but not least, surely you’ve learned in your 30 years that you can’t set out to find love; it finds you.

So, enjoy the beginning of your romantic peak and seek out fun and fulfilment. Perhaps a suitable partner or friend will be seeking the same things in the same places.

Dear Christine,

Why do people say that looks aren't important but then chase after only the best looking people?

When ladies complain that there aren't any good men left, what they are actually saying is that they can’t find any good-looking men with six-figure jobs, fancy cars and great houses.

RON - RODNEY

Dear Ron,

Interesting points you bring up. I’m sure there are women and men out there who fall into the superficial category of which you speak. However, I think the fact to focus on here is…do you really want to know people who are that shallow? Sounds to me like no great loss.

Dear Christine,

I’ve read the stuff you spout about self-confidence. Let’s be realistic, some of us have less to be confident about. And when I say less, I’m talking about less hair, in my case.

Barely over thirty, I am too young to be going bald. I try everything to hide it. I wear hats. I strategically comb my remaining hair forward.

Aside from the receding part of my head, the rest of my hair is nearly down to my shoulders and looks great. But still, women look at me differently now that I’m losing my hair.

I know there is nothing you can do for me. I simply wanted to point out that there are exceptions to your chin-up responses to insecurity.

BALDING BOB - BRANTFORD

Dear BBB,

First things first; lose the hat! You’re not deceiving anyone but yourself. So you’re balding; go with it.

Clinging desperately to the last of your long hairs is not doing you any good. Think about the public figures whose hair recedes. Take their cue and cut or shave it all off.

Bald is trendy. Think: Bruce Willis, Yul Brynner, Patrick Stewart, Ed Harris, Andre Agassi.

Sorry, but I cannot help you further with your problem, as I'm getting all goose-bumpy and distracted just thinking about all of you sexy bald men out there.

Have a question, a thought, or a story to share (anonymity guaranteed), e-mail Christine at: singleinthecity-.hotmail.com

© Copyright 2002 by Christine West