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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

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Ethel Murmurs On
by By George xx xx   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
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By George xx xx

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Or not?

Ethel Murmurs On!

By the time you read this, you would have already read it, and probably know less than you do now, because I know nothing, But I will after I see the doctor who already knows what he’s going to tell me but hasn’t done so yet. I will relay that information on to you if it is not too devastating…(for me, not for you.)

Vital information such as this, although it means absolutely nothing to the average person or persons, must be kept totally secret according to the Hippo Laws which were invented to show that idiots do have rights to comment even if their laws are stupid.

This could be Ethel’s Big Day! I am off to see my car t ologist. I know an ologist is someone who digs up things, a car is what I use to get there, and a T usually supports two different ways to go, although in this case insignificant due to misspelling.
Therefore I have no idea what this guy does, but I am sure he does.
He seems to drink a lot of coffee?

We need to know if Ethel is good to go?

Just the other day as I was strolling through The Mall. as I seldom do when I am not doing other things, I passed a man and a woman in an embrace. As I did so the man regained his dignity and remarked, “That fellow has a murmur!”

Those of you who know me for my honesty realize I am lying and those who don’t, better learn. The entire incident was a pre-fabricated fabrication with not a word of truth other than the ones that were.
Strangely to say similar things have not been taking place throughout the hamlet for decades.

Ethel is undetectable even to a dog, unless it whistles.

I will say there are times at night when a whistle awakes me, but that is rare. When it goes to routine I will consider having it changed once I am sure it is the murmur. After all, I am sleeping…I’m not even sure which end it comes out?

So why change it?

By George
NoPo8


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Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on August 20, 2019
I remember great aunt Ethel who went racing around in her Rocket Oldsmobile until she was 96. I often wonder if she put Ethyl in the tank. Although she was a faithful server of food to Lions, Elks, and Veterans of Foreign Wars, not sure she ever served Ethyl to any of those lodgers for a dog for that matter… Unpalatable.

But then it could be Ethel Merman that keeps murmuring on while you sleep.

Ron

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