AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Susan Smith, iValerie Boggess, iRoger Vizi, iGlenda Bixler, iPamela Ackerson, iJ. Allen Wilson, iR.E.E.S Blogs Linda Smith, Publisher, iChristina Neely, iLeanne Bright Cloudman, iPawan Mishra, i

  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Success story
· Books
· Articles
· News
· Blog
· Messages
· 622 Titles
· 377 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Before 2003

   newsletter

Subscribe to the By George xx xx Newsletter. Enter your name and email below and click "sign me up!"
Name:
Email:
By George xx xx, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen!

Books by
By George xx xx



See all Books
by By George xx xx


The Left-Handed Heart
by By George xx xx   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
Recent articles by
By George xx xx

• Shot/No Shot
• Mutant
• Spark Plug
• That's Life!
• Power Outage
           >> View all

Stage 1 was yesterday

THE LEFT-HANDED HEART

Good Evening,
As you may have heard, Ethel Murmur is on her way out. I’ve decided to replace her. It’s been a nice run, but we’re done.

Yesterday was Stage 1
They went into my right wrist with a monitor to check my arteries for blockages. Quite an experience!
The doctor came out of his little cubby hole and said, “You seem to have an irregularity!”
I knew he couldn’t mean what they usually mean with such a statement, as I was quite regular and already passed. (If that is more information than you need, disregard it.) That also seemed like information obtained from probing another portal of which he was not? (Ditto on the disregard.)
He went on to say that two arteries are clear, and another, coming around from the right, in my case is coming around from the left…
THE LEFT-HANDED HEART!

He said it was like that since I was born. I told him I’d never noticed it?
There is some blockage there, that he cannot fully diagnose, so they are setting me up with an Angio Cat Scan, which I thought rather a coincidence because my brother had just informed me that he got a new cat, but that was when I was still groggy and under the influence.
I thought by now it would have worn off?
This is all bloody marvelous actually because they will get a good look at what is inside of me.
He said in any case he can put in a stint and I should not need open-heart surgery to change the valve.
THAT’S THE GOOD NEWS!
So, presently…Ethel Still Murmurs on, in The Left Handed Heart!

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8


Want to review or comment on this article?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on August 31, 2019
That is good news! You didn't have to have the cat scanned and the irregularity was regular, just on the wrong side. And you didn't need a proctologist to figure it out. May your valve go on to live forever!

Bye, George,

Ron

Popular Humor Articles
  1.  Crash Dummies
  2.  Penny Power
  3.  Pedicure and Chicken
  4.  Beware the Tsundoku!
  5.  Snow White Trailer Trash Talk
  6.  How to Survive Bean Soup, The Game.
  7.  Poetry Submission
  8.  Losing Ticket
  9.  Shot/No Shot
  10.  Dilatation of Closed Phrenix Confabula
  11.  Kaltenheiss's famed Katya im Boxer qua
  12.  Getting Old In The Real World
  13.  Precedent Linkin's Gettysberg A Dress
  14.  More GFI
  15.  Breaking Bad meets Star Trek and Pies
  16.  Imminent Danger
  17.  The Left-Handed Heart
  18.  The Great Turtle Stampede
  19.  Toughest Million
  20.  Spark Plug
  21.  Battle of the Bulge: Jesus Hates Speed
  22.  My colonoscopy 3/20/14 – I have to tel
  23.  Problem Solving, Or The Day My Septic
  24.  Segments from a Bifurcated Life
  25.  NEW KEYBOARD

Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

The Demon of the Shadows by Ronald Scala

A historical horror tale of demonic possession and heroic courage  
Member BookAds

Love is a Pretty Girl with a Cape to Share Your Dreams With by Bob Boze

A humorous look at the world and life through my eyes. Follow the author and his wife, as they travel the world …. several times over. Laugh at their funny stories, self-inflicted crazy events, strange observations, wacky zoo facts and snippets  
Member BookAds

Fractured Frazzled Folk Fables & Fairy Farces, Part II by Jay Dubya

Farctured Frazzled Folk Fables and Fairy Farces, Part II satirizes popular children's stories into adult-oriented renditions. FFFF &FF, Part II is also available in Amazon Kindle and Barnes and Noble e-book formats.  
Member BookAds