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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

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Steak and Eggs
by By George xx xx   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
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Speaking of eggs.

One thing is constant in my life. When I like something it soon vanishes. If I liked myself I would have been gone long ago. I really don’t care, so I’m still here.

Yesterday was Adventure Day! Shopping Day! The only day I get out of the house. I never have trouble finding stuff to write about on shopping day. Yesterday was no exception, although it may have been a little exceptional?

That last line was a literary trick to get you to read further. To those of you who are not reading this, it didn’t work.

I usually have an Einstein bagel and coffee, however yesterday I felt like something else…
Obviously another trick. I’m sorry I have to use these little things, but editors look for them to show I know how to write. Those of you who didn’t fall for the first one have no idea this is even here.

I decided to have Breakfast at Arizona Charley’s. It’s a casino named after a Gunslinger who never existed, with nice specials. Before I went in I took my diabetes pill. If I don’t eat within a half-hour I get all goofy, but that usually gives me plenty of time.
I hadn’t been there in quite awhile and the whole café changed. They added some things to the entrance station and took away others.
I wondered if they still had the specials?

When I was seated I was happy to see the specials were still there.
My waitress took my order and I said I’d have the Steak and Eggs, which is what I always get.

“Can I see your Rewards Card?”
“I don’t have one.”
“You don’t have one?”
“No.”
“Why don’t you have one?”
“I don’t gamble.”
“Why not?”
“I’m an alcoholic.”
“What does that have to do with it?”
“They give you free drinks.”
“You don’t have to take them.”
“You don’t know me and free.”

“If you don’t have a Rewards Card you can’t have Steak and Eggs.”
“Why not?”
“It’s a Special.”
“That’s all right, I’ll pay the full price.”
“They started something new. You can’t have a special without the Rewards Card?”
“You mean I can’t have Steak and Eggs?”
“Not unless you get a Rewards Card.”
“How do I do that?”
“I’ll show you.”

By now my diabetes pill was ready to kick in so I needed food. The Rewards Center was on the other side of the building. There were people in line ahead of me, which I was almost ready to toss out of the way. I was able to control myself and got a card. Steak and Eggs were good.

Speaking of eggs. For the past few months I had been eating bagels for breakfast because it was too hot to cook. Yesterday I switched back to eggs.

I have to get my eggs from Albertson’s because I get a dozen extra large, and Walmart stopped carrying less than 18. I was in Walmart first and just for the halibut I checked the egg bin. No extra large dozens, but they had dozens of Jumbos. I can do them!

The eggs this morning were Excellent!

By George
NoPo8


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