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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

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What Were Dinosaurs For?
by By George xx xx   
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Who Knew?

Headline
What Were Dinosaurs For?

Simple answer.
For awhile.

My students like that answer, but they’re all simple.

The question, asked and answered, sat at the head of a lofty lengthy article that I did not have the time nor desire to read primarily because I knew it was all speculation. The only knowledge we have of dinosaur existence is the bones they left behind and we are not even sure if we put them together correctly?

I decided for the sake of adventure to do a dinosaur search however I found nothing current within the last million years. Anything beyond that would be hearsay and we have no way of knowing by who/whom?
We see dinosaurs as bordering on fantasy, when in fact most fantasies have fancied dinosaurs in them.

Therefore, if all we have is speculation. I find that I am more than a little bit proficient to speculate.

Like all living things dinosaurs were put here to populate Earth. They were not rabbits, but did a fairly good job.
Ancient tabloids tell us they were supposed to start the Industrial Revolution, which would lead us to High Technology and beyond, unfortunately they had little hands and little brains and couldn’t even start a fire, except for lightning which forewarned them they could not control a fire.

Something was needed to replace the dinosaurs, so God got rid of them and made people, because we have big brains, (Most of us.)

One good thing came of all that. Without even knowing it, dinosaurs invented oil, which we with the brains stumbled upon while digging for gold, and then made cars to have something to use it for.

Without dinosaurs we would still be riding horses…which is ironic because they who had become extinct, millions of years later caused cowboys to be extinct as well.

Maybe THAT was their purpose?

WOW! What a plan!

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8


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Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on December 25, 2019
Dinosaurs are not stinked. I just ate one for Thanksgiving. It tasted like chicken, well, like turkey. And a few miles from here we've got a whole state park full of em, alligators. I've heard they taste like chicken, but I don't know since I haven't eaten any… Fishy chicken? Don't know.

So all of those eggs and all of those buffalo wings are the result of dinosaurs and we better appreciate it or we would be very hungry by now and probably ravishing the countryside to fill our bellies with blood and gore. And there would be all kinds of other critters wanting to taste our soft warm flesh that tastes like chicken.

Thanks, dinosaurs, for all that sweet heavy crude. But we are going to leave you now. Going to cut out the middleman, and go directly to the source for the power to run our world, the good old sun and wind. You're fired (something like going extinct the second time), as Donald Trump should say.

Bye, George,

Ron

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