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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

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Garage Door Opener
by By George xx xx   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
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By George xx xx

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I am finally proud of myself

I am finally proud of myself. Can you say that? Why would you say that? So I don’t get “Uppity?”
Don’t worry, I said proud not uppity.
You can be proud too if you really are.
I fixed my garage door opener…finally…I think?
That is something to be proud of…if it is true ? I will not know for sure until I use it which won’t be for a few days because I am too cheap to test it…and I’m only guessing its fixed and I cannot stand the pain if I am wrong.
I will find out when I go shopping, unless one of my stupid doctors gives me an appointment, whichever comes first?
I’m hoping the later will preempt the first, which will put it ahead, instead of nowhere, where it is now.
Let me explain the situation so you may understand, not that I care but you might?
The garage door went on the fritz. It went up but would not come down. I cannot leave my house without the door going up. And I WILL NOT leave my house without the door going down. One is a necessity, the other is an impregnability. I go nowhere with doors open.
I checked the sensors. They seemed to be in order, even though I have no knowledge of how to “order” them. All I know is they need to face each other with an invisible light beam connection, which is hard to observe being invisible.
I assumed the batteries were defective. I bought new ones. They were those little round flat ones that I despise. You never know how long they sit on the shelf.
Which brings up another unrelated question…What is the shelf life of a shelf?
I installed the new battery into the old remote. In truth it did not sound compatible But I hoped it was. I also demised the new battery because of shelf life, may actually be older than the remote and deader than the one removed.
I tried it…It Worked! Gad Zooks…I fixed the problem!
The next time I went shopping the door went both up and down. I had a feeling of Superiority, which I flaunted more than a little bit.
When I returned home the door went up…but failed to go down.
I was not going to spend the rest of the day, and possibly the night, with my garage door open. I used the wall switch but had to hold it till the door closed all the way.
The problem I thought I had solved was obviously not.
The batteries came in a two-pack. I installed the second in the remote. To make a long story not as long the same thing happened.
I had a second remote.
I installed either or all of the batteries in the second with exactly the same thing happening, though not in that order.
I went to Lowes. I told a salesman what was happening. He said I needed a new garage door opener. I felt as though I was in a car dealership.
I considered several new openers and went to Utube to see how to install them.
I also noticed where it said the sensors must be aligned or the door would not go down.
It said one was a sending unit and the other a receiver. The sending unit should have an orange light, and the receiver a green light.
I went into the garage last night. Did you notice how dark it was?
I barely saw an orange light facing the other sensor, which had no light at all.
That had to be the reason for the nonfunctionality. It is too cold to work in the garage so I decided to wait till Spring.
This morning I walked past the sending unite. I cannot bend down that low so I moved it with my big toe. Nothing changed.
However, once on the other side of the garage I noticed an orange light, ON THE SIDE OF THE SENSOR!
There was nothing there before.
I went to the receiver and saw A GREEN LIGHT on the side.
That did it! It has to be fixed! Pride goeth before the test.
I cannot stand another heartbreak, so I’ll check it when I go shopping.

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8


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Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on January 28, 2020
Makes a lot of garage door sense or sensor, but not Sense or Sensibility…

Bye, George,

Ron

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