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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

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The money is there.

ROUNDUP USERS CLAIM LARGE CASH SETTLEMENTS

The Deal isn’t over…The money is there…Anybody who has ever used Roundup can get it…I’m IN!
I never thought My Ship would be a weed killer but apparently it has come in under that pretense.

ROUNDUP has tons of money lying around waiting for folks who drizzled down Roundup to kill their weeds.
I’ve been using it for 9 years. Maybe more if you count the dark days?

I’m thinking if they go the same way with Bug Killer and Rat Killer, and there is no reason why they shouldn’t, except they haven’t yet, but may soon…I should come out of it with a lot of money.
Fortunately I kept all the empty containers.

This time, rather than in the past, I am going to take my time and not rush into anything. They provided a link which I clicked on to get my payoff.

The first question asked…What kind of cancer did you have?
Well, DUH! It was obviously the kind that roundup gives you.

I looked for a space for those who eluded cancer and just wanted the money. That space eluded me as well.

It seemed the only ones who could collect were those who had cancer. That is really unfair. I used the Roundup…Is it my fault I didn’t get cancer? If I’d have known this was going to happen I’d have sprayed it while smoking cigarettes.

Now I have to fake cancer some way. Just my luck to live in a house with no asbestos. Maybe if I cut my hair off?

Why don’t I just get a doctor to write a prescription saying I have it?
That’ll work. Except all the doctors around here are already in jail for something.

I’ll get a letter from a doctor in Canada. No, that’s no good, Canada won’t allow me in their country.

Mexico! Sure Mexico is good…except you need a passport now and mine has run out.

So, I’ll get a new passport! I’ll go to AAA, and then to the Post Office. I’ll have a passport in six months.
Forget it! That’s more trouble than waiting for surgery.

I’ll just have to wait till they give us money for something else like eating paint.

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8


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