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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

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Leap Day
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HAPPY LEAP DAY

HAPPY LEAP DAY!
Sink Me, if I do not feel better, how about you?
If Leap Day is not meant to make us feel better. Why have it?

I did my own unauthorized survey on the importance of Leap Year.
Of the ten people questioned, eleven of them voted “False.”
I told them this was not a true or false question and they said, “D…None of the above.”
I really do not see surveys as my cup of tea. Actually, coffee is my cup of tea, and I do not see it as that either, and Not Bloody Likely I ever will.

I discussed the subject of Leap Year with my students at The University and we came up with a possible vital reason for it.

We, of the Earth, are within a solar system of nine planets revolving around the sun. They have never bought into the notion that Pluto has been evicted…neither do I.

We are in a delicate orbital balance twirling around the sun that requires specific gravity to keep that balance balanced. The sun’s gravity, which some claim is significant, wants to “Pull us in.”

My students say if that were to happen we would have no more “Snow Days.”

Only our orbital speed around the sun keeps that from happening. This speed is monitored by high-tech methods that allow us to launch satellite markers, that also serve as television radiation programming and spy networks.

As we travel around the sun and come up on these markers, not only does our reception improve, but we are able to record how long it took to make the trip.

Presently, reliable sources tell us the trip takes 365 ¼ days. My students asked how long that is in Dog Days?
Frankly I have no idea?

Of all the days involved, that quarter day is most important. It controls our orbital speed.

If we were to “Round up” the days and discard it, we would do the loop faster in 365 days. This would cause us to surpass the delicate relativity required and we would spin out of orbit.

My students say if that were to happen we would have too many “Snow Days.”

If we were to add a full day every year that would make 366 days and not only severely alter calendars world wide, but it would slow us down to a point where the sun would suck us in.

My students say, “HAPPY LEAP DAY!”

There is another pertinent question pertaining to Leap Day that I just do not have an answer for.

Abner asked…”What would happen if we changed clocks to Daylight Saving Time on Leap day?”

Some things are better left unknown.

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8


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Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on February 29, 2020
I asked her this morning to ask me to marry her. She didn't. Liking things the way they are. Guess I'll have to wait four more years.

Bye, George,

Ron

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