AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Lisa Loucks Christenson, iGwendolyn Thomas Gath, iDavid Arthur Walters, iPatricia Hilliard, iPamela Ackerson, iJudith Bailey, iChristine Boyce, iLalita Vasu, iDave Tabler, i RickthePoetWarrior, i

  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Success story
· Books
· Articles
· News
· Blog
· Messages
· 622 Titles
· 377 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Before 2003

   newsletter

Subscribe to the By George xx xx Newsletter. Enter your name and email below and click "sign me up!"
Name:
Email:
By George xx xx, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen!

Books by
By George xx xx



See all Books
by By George xx xx


Back Rash?
by By George xx xx   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
Recent articles by
By George xx xx

• Shot/No Shot
• Mutant
• Spark Plug
• That's Life!
• Power Outage
           >> View all

Merely a precaution

Sterilize and put on goggles before reading.
This is merely a precaution.
You don’t have to do it if you’d rather risk your life.

Professor Ambrose Penwose, Kiwi
University on Lockdown

Good Evening,

I think it’s evening? I’ve heard that all the prominent clocks will be shutting down, so we won’t even know what time it is?

So how are you all doing with your self-inflicted quarantines?
I can safely say that if it wasn’t for Boredom, I’d have no dom at all.
I’ve considered Home Schooling, but the last thing I want my students to know is where I live.

Have you seen the commercial where that cute little funny girl from Progressive Insurance is sitting at a table in a bar/club with Flo, trying to repel guys because, “This is not my scene.”
The first thing she says is, “I have a back rash.”
I always wonder why she said that?
Then it hit me!…that’s “Ring Around the Rosie.”
A back rash was one of the first signs of, (Heavy drum beat)
The Plague!!!

Today is shopping day. I need bagels and sleeping pills. The pills are necessary to put me back to sleep after “nature calls.” The last bottle I bought had 365 pills. I take one a night. That’s enough for an entire year. A major coincidence if ever I saw one!
Sadly, this is a leap year, so I ran out early.

Nature Calls, saved my life last night, actually. I woke up and found my own hair trying to strangle me. If I hadn’t woke up I’d have been dead for the rest of my life.
I REALLY NEED A HAIRCUT! I thought of clipping it myself, but I can’t find a bowl big enough for my head. Besides, somebody might see me.

Be Corona Free!

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8


Want to review or comment on this article?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Popular Humor Articles
  1.  Crash Dummies
  2.  Penny Power
  3.  Pedicure and Chicken
  4.  Beware the Tsundoku!
  5.  Snow White Trailer Trash Talk
  6.  How to Survive Bean Soup, The Game.
  7.  Poetry Submission
  8.  Losing Ticket
  9.  Shot/No Shot
  10.  Dilatation of Closed Phrenix Confabula
  11.  Kaltenheiss's famed Katya im Boxer qua
  12.  Getting Old In The Real World
  13.  Precedent Linkin's Gettysberg A Dress
  14.  More GFI
  15.  Breaking Bad meets Star Trek and Pies
  16.  Imminent Danger
  17.  The Left-Handed Heart
  18.  The Great Turtle Stampede
  19.  Toughest Million
  20.  Spark Plug
  21.  Battle of the Bulge: Jesus Hates Speed
  22.  My colonoscopy 3/20/14 – I have to tel
  23.  Problem Solving, Or The Day My Septic
  24.  Segments from a Bifurcated Life
  25.  NEW KEYBOARD

Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Fractured Frazzled Folk Fables and Fairy Farces by Jay Dubya

Fractured Frazzled Folk Fables and Fairy Farces is adult literature that satirizes famous children's stories, fables and fairy tales. The work is Jay Dubya's twenty-first e-book available in Amazon Kindle and Barnes and Noble Nook.  
Member BookAds

52nd Book: Jay Dubya by Jay Dubya

Hawthorne: Hacked, Shakespeare: Sacked & Thurber: Thwacked is adult satire featuring adult language and content.  
Member BookAds

Shakespeare: Slammed, Smeared, Savaged and Slaughtered, Part II by Jay Dubya

Shakespeare: Slammed, Smeared, Savaged and Slaughtered, Part II is adult literature that satirizes ten famous William Shakespeare plays.  
Member BookAds