Bagels?

Bagels?

I received an email today from Einstein Bagels trying to entice me to risk my life to buy one of their bagels. They say they are still open for curbside service. What a sight that must be? I sent them this reply.

This is a good time to use the phrase I previously emailed to you.
“IF EINSTEIN HAD EATEN BAGELS HE MAY HAVE DONE BETTER IN SCHOOL.”
You have to say May, because if you say he would have, that would imply a guarantee and parents could sue you when their kids ate bagels and still came home from school stupid.

New Pedigree Of Fool
A Corona Fool is someone who/whom watches over and over the rebroadcasts of classic sports and expects different outcomes.
Real Corona Fools are those who place bets.
Las Vegas Sports Books are always open to these wagerers.

I’ve noticed that Smokers do not wear masks, because they cannot smoke with the masks on. They are risking their lives in two ways. If they jaywalk they are risking their lives in three ways. If they breathe on Me…well, lets just hope they don’t.

Wearing masks for The Corona Virus has bred a new breed of ventriloquists. Literally thousands of previous wannabes are now walking around with dummies performing for anyone who will listen without fear of seeing their lips move.

I just checked Wells Fargo for my stimulus check. It’s not there.
Where could it be? They must have mailed it? I must have it.
It’s a stimulus check. I need stimulus. I hope it arrives before I go completely catatonic.
If it doesn’t, and I do, how will I know?

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8