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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

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When is it justifiable to shoot your wife?
by By George xx xx   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
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You need a gun with slow bullets.

WHEN IS IT JUSTIFIABLE TO SHOOT YOUR WIFE?
Keep in mind the reverse is just the opposite.

If you can prove that your wife, “walked in front of the bullet,” no blame shall be cast on you even though you fired the shot.
However, to do so you must enter into evidence a gun that fires Slow Bullets, and establish your wife as a fast walker.

It is much easier, and more creditable, to say she walked in front of a knife. However fingerprints are always an issue, and prosecutors will question why you wear gloves around the house?

You may say she walked under a falling vase, however if you removed flowers previously that would constitute premeditation.

You can “leave the gas on,” but you must be sure She will be in the kitchen and not you.
If you smoke, you may want to seek other means?

I once had an elaborate plot, that I later found not to be foolproof.
I parked my automobile in the garage as usual, ran a hose from the exhaust to my wife’s bedroom, and left the vehicle running. I went inside all excited and found her downstairs watching the tele.
I quickly turned about and shut the car off.
This time I waited until she went to bed. Then I once again put my plot into action.
When she came down for tea the next morning, I sauntered to the garage and realized the vehicle ran out of gas.

After that I went shopping for a gun that shoots slow bullets.

Penwose Out
By George
NoPo8


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Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on July 14, 2020
I'm of a much more practical bent when it comes to shooting my wife.

The answer to your rhetorical question: When she is dressed in only a thin nightgown and comes out to ask you to, "come to bed." You are at the bar at the swimming pool and have one of those old-fashioned seltzer bottles. It is not only appropriate, but necessary for you to shoot her with it, and even better if she has one to shoot you back. Nothing better to live in of lovemaking that had gone pedantic.

Bye, George,

Ron

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