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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

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Caffeinated?
by By George xx xx   
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This time I got it!

Question of the Day
I could give this one to Penwose, but I’ll take it myself, due to the content.

If you wake up caffeinated, before having your coffee…should you still have your coffee?

That question is more oftenly answered, “Does Not Apply,” however not by me.

Take this morning for instance…Before my shower I felt a nagging long hair on my forehead that was curling into my right eye. I snatched my trusty magnifying mirror and actually saw it. Then I snatched my trusty scissors and attempted to cut it off.

This is always a bit dangerous because it was close to my eye and with a mirror everything is backwards so you have to go left to go right, (not you, Me.)
It was hard to line up the hair with the scissors, and I usually just snipped air. That’s probably why it got so long? I’ve tried before!

This Time I Got It!

The hair is gone and I will not be bothered by it until it grows back!
What a triumph for caffeination! I felt vigorated!

I took my shower and came out feeling Clean, Caffeinated, and Vigorated.

I was in a state of euphoria when I picked up my hair brush to brush my hair. Suddenly I saw something, like a big bat, fly past the back of my head…”What the…?”

I looked around for the flying rat and saw what had flown past me lying on the carpet…My Scissors? “What the…?”

Apparently, in my intense caffeinated state, I had laid the scissors on the sinktop too close to my hairbrush, and when I grabbed the brush I flung the scissors into the air.

That could have been catastrophic. If those scissors had hit me it could have been fatal. Due to my current blood thinners any little cut could cause me to bleed out before I even wrote this.

I need to reduce/stop the caffeination. But how do I stop something that I’m waking up with?

I’ll figure it out after I have my coffee.

Cheers,
By George


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