Professor Ambrose Penwose, Kiwi
With a Helpful Household Hint
Before I begin I would like to ask all of you who/whom have been sending letters regarding my previous Helpful Household Hint, to quit sending letters. The message is true …If you pull the plug on your refrigerator, the magnets will fall off the door.
That is a common fact of knowledge throughout the world of humor in which I dwell.
ARE YOU A MICROWAVERER?
Do you allow the beeps to continue at the end of a cook? Do you even know what they mean? What catastrophic occurrence would occur if you were to open the door before the beeping stopped? Would your food be inedible? Would the microwave cease to operate? Would Lassie come home?
Relax peoples. There is no need to concern yourself with beeping microwaves. If you are concerned you can stop the process at any time. Once your timer has expired the food is done. It will get no better waiting for the cease of the beeps. The beeps are only there for one reason.
There is a chip inside every microwave. The beeps start a “quick scan” of your house, usually 3 or 4 seconds, depending on the amount of beeps, detailing items of government concern.
The results are relayed to a cloud containing classified data about you and your family. This data is compared to data from previous microwave uses with dissimilarities noted.
There is no fee for this service.
To discontinue, merely stop the procedure before the beeps start.
To prove or disprove this message…go out, buy a gun, and stand by your microwave.
