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By George xx xx

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Ideas for my sitcom

SITCOM IDEAS
One word to describe my sitcom… Bazaar!…whoops, it was supposed to be Bizarre! All readers are instructed to disregard the previous…except for the subsequent of the previous.

However, we are nothing if not flexible, and with consideration to the previous, which should leave you confused?…we will go with it.

For those who/whom have yet to see the sitcom, which has yet to be shown, please allow me to set the stage.

The father of a dysfunctional family, who tells everyone he is a rocket scientist, yet meagerly works in a fireworks factory, is invited by Earl, the Redneck Elevator Operator in Dad’s one-story building, to attend his town’s bizarre bazaar…their annual pageant.
Mom will not go, Dad takes the kids.
They see sign FARQUAR FARMS ANNUAL RODEO
These events are merely early stages of ideas…

Chicken Roping

Chicken Plucking…Live chickens are plucked. Feathers fly everywhere as chickens scream. In the end guys bleeding from Chicken Bites hold up bald chickens, still screaming.
Dad, aren’t chickens supposed to be dead when you pluck them?
Earl, “What would be the fun of that?”
Dad asks if they will still lay eggs?
Earl…”Eggs?”

Bull Milking…bulls don’t like it.

Cow Tipping…cows don’t like it.
Dad to son, “How much should you tip a cow son?” “15 percent Dad”

Team Hog Tipping…teams try to tip a hog
Greased team hog tipping

Greased Pig Riding…Bucking pigs are hard to ride.

Rooster Wrestling

Horse Flinging…person must get under a horse and fling it!

Egg Stealing…kids event.

Goose Egg throwing…People throw huge eggs to partners…splatter all over them.

Turtle Racing…Turtles line up “In starting gate”
Earl, “This is our most popular event!”
Starting gun fires!…Turtles just sit there as fans Cheer!
Earl, “The turtle that finishes last is the winner! Corn Bread has won 10 years in a row! People Cheer, “Come on Corn Bread!”…turtles do not move.
From time to time we come back to see same scene. When we hear cheering we come back to see a turtle took a step, etc.
Earl, “This race can go on for weeks.”
Big throng of Fans return each day to cheer.
One by one turtles are eliminated by moseying over finish line.
Only two are left…Corn Bread and Snidely’s entry. They sit motionless day after day. Finally Corn Bread moves to stretch his legs…all the way over finish line.
Snidely…Yahoo, I won!”
Race worker, “Just a minute…Hey Judge, this turtle’s leg is chained to the ground!”
“WHAT? That’s Cheating…Snidely’s turtle is eliminated…Corn Bread Wins!”
Everybody cheers!

More events will be added as I think of em.

Cheers,
By George





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Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on August 4, 2020
I quit watching sitcoms after Archie Bunker. Even though they had a live audience instead of canned laughter. They purposely picked a canned live audience that would laugh when they held up the sign because otherwise they wouldn't know what to do when Archie said something rude or downright stupid… "Laugh… Laugh you fools!" And they did. Making Archie your redneck next door.

On the other hand, I like your ideas for farm contests. A few changes are in order. I think you should add Bull Shipping. Cow pie eating… The only way that humans can digest grass. I like the hog ideas, but unfortunately, FARQUAR FARMS, would probably find them too unclean even after a thorough scrubbing through a car wash. It's a Muslim thing.

You could add some exotics like llama spitting, emu kicking (footballs?), chinchilla farting, longhorn acrobatics, wolf baiting and the like.

Your sitcom has turned into a rodeo. But it's not my kind of rodeo, so I will butt out…

Bye, George,

Ron

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