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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

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Country Bumpkins
by By George xx xx   
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Did they meet any?

My Cousin Julie recently escaped the blistering heat in Vegas and moved her family to the illustrious state of Tennessee.

I wonder if they met any Country Bumpkins yet?

A country bumpkin, is someone who will walk directly through a puddle, rather than go around it, and later wear those same muddy boots to bed.
They eat cornpone, skin their shinbone, and hardly ever use their brainbone.
They usually live way up on a hill, and are “looked down on,” buy the people in the valley, which seems difficult graphically?

They all want to be called Davey, ever since The Alamo, but at this writing most Bumpkin families already have ten Daveys, so they go with names like Billy, that goes well with living on a hill, (Hillbilly for those who need it spelled out.)

Julie may also run into Judy, who works in Tennessee from time to time as needed filling in for those over inebriated by too much, “Shine.”
Judy was to be my Sister By Marriage, but Her sister never agreed. So now we are forever linked by Danny…My Only Son, and Her Only Nephew.
Judy is waiting for an Pod, so she can move her “stuff” into her new house in Pennsylvania.
I am dazzled when I look at an Pod and think what a difference an “I” would make….(IPod for those textully challenged.)
You can put tons of info in an IPod…but not a single hunk of “stuff.”

Judy has yet to mention meeting any Country Bumpkins.

As I said, Judy and I will always be linked By Danny.
By George


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Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on August 26, 2020
I spent seven years in West Virginia. I met a lot of characters along the way, some geniuses and some very far out intellectually, but country bumpkins were hard to find.

Don Knotts lost his father had an early age. His mother had a rooming house where he and his brothers lived in had a place to live in Morgantown, West Virginia. To be popular, Don did comedic acts and ventriloquism in high school. After high school he went off to World War II. After the Army, he got a degree education at West Virginia University. He went to New York and started acting. For a television show, he created the persona of a country bumpkin that was so believable people thought he really was.

Jim Neighbors grew up in Alabama and study theater and music at the University of Alabama. He went to New York after graduation and worked in the business, moving to California for his asthma (and his dating preferences?) where he was discovered to be a singing country pumpkin. But he was homosexual… How does that figure into the story… Backwoods incest?

Television created the country bumpkin.

From a square,

Ron

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