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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

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At the airport

Coming Soon

I’m waiting for a deployment call from Red Cross. I hope to get out of here soon before they change their minds.

I used to leave my car at Red Cross headquarters and take a cab to the airport from there…but that was too easy. We moved headquarters. No safe covered parking at the new place. So I take an Uber from my house to the airport, which is a bit of a conundrum. The drivers can never find my house? The address is on Du Barry Manor Lane, but Uber’s GPS shows it on Rainbow, which is the next street. They call me and I tell them the way, but they do not believe me because their maps are different. I tell them, “Make a Uturn and come back the other way.”
“A Uturn?”
“Yes, That’s when you turn around.”
“But My GPS says…”
“Forget your GPS…Do what I tell you!”
I have to go down the street and wave my arms, “See that guy down the street waving his arms?”
“Yes!”
“That’s Me!”
“That’s you?
“Yes, That’s me!”
“I’ll make a Uturn!”

One obstacle in my path is TSA Precheck at the airport. If it is on your ticket you can go through shorter lines and not take your shoes off. It seems to be a random thing. Sometime its there and sometimes not?

Last time it was not there, so I had to go through the long lines.

I told the person at the booth. “I can’t go through there because I have a Pacemaker. I also have a hip replacement. I can’t take off my shoes because I can’t. I have vertebrae in my back that are fused together so I cannot bend over, (I always wear flip-flops when I fly.)
I’m also on blood thinners, so I may start bleeding all over the place, at any time for no apparent reason.

They end up patting me down. I tell them, “Don’t worry where you go, I’m too old to appreciate it.”
They don’t appreciate it.

So that’s what I have to look forward to when I finally get deployed.

Fun Huh?

By George


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